Damage Control
by Shinigami no Seishi
Summary: [SasuNaru] Hinageshi's mistake means Naruto gets another shot at life. Yuusuke attempts to help. The others come along for the ride. YYH crossover. (No really. I'm serious.)
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. I used both without knowledge of permission and for my own entertainment. No money was made. Yea, verily. 

**Rating:** swearing, eventual boy-kissage and innuendo. Too racy for you? You decide. 

**Warnings:** crossover, AU-ish, future silliness 

**Pairing:** the main one: NaruSasu 

**Summary:** Hinageshi's mistake means Naruto gets another shot at life. Yuusuke attempts to help. The others come along for the ride. 

**Authors' Note(s):** Since I've only seen up to episode 60-something, and since I've only been able to read a smattering of the manga after that, and since we don't really know the conclusion of the whole Orochimaru-thing, I'm going to ignore that it happened (is happening...?).   
  


Damage Control  
By: SnS

  
  
Prologue:  
  
Naruto didn't listen to his inner voice. Unlike most inner voices, which were a combination of omniscient mother and irate conscience, Naruto's was bloody rage and fury snarling, _"Why the hell aren't you DEAD yet?"_ So he tended to ignore it. 

Naruto listened to his inner teammates. He had a set of three, and they seemed to take turns offering commentary on the daily events of his life. This time, it was his inner Sasuke, standing with a hand on his hip and one of those annoyed/bored expressions that Naruto was so used to seeing. 

_"Well, that was stupid,"_ inner Sasuke grumbled. 

And, in all fairness, Naruto thought he might be right. 

He really should have known better. But when you were on a mission with your rival, and your respected teacher, and your potential love interest and basically everyone in the world you wanted to impress the _most_, and then you make a mistake and let one of the bad guys get _away_, well... 

You just had to go after them. You _had_ to. Even if your chakra was dangerously low, even if previous blunders earlier in the mission had left you wounded, even if you'd lost a lot of blood already. And you ignored the demon laughing inside your head as you ran blindly and exuberantly into danger. 

_"You weren't thinking, _were _you, Naruto?"_ inner Sakura scolded, shoving imaginary Sasuke aside with an annoyance her real counterpart would never exhibit toward her crush. _"Why don't you ever think?"_

He really didn't have an answer for her, except that having an entity of rage and hate burning in his head 24/7 left little room for rational thought, sometimes. Not that he'd be allowed to say that to her, even if he had wanted to. 

A sharp pain as he shifted in another attempt to sit up brought him back to his present situation. Fighter instincts, lagging a bit in a daze of pain, finally kicked him in the ass and told him to analyze his current position. 

Enemy check: not bad; still twitching, but otherwise showing no signs of consciousness or, even better, any inclination to attack him again. 

Self check: not so good; he was cold except for his side which was on fire with pain and his head was swimming, vision darkening. The demon was stirring inside, restless. Tasting death. 

Now all he could do was hang on, press the demon back with what strength was left, growling _You set me up, stupid fox,_ and wait for the others to find him. 

_Stay conscious. Stay **conscious**, dammit._

Man, he hated being rescued. Sasuke would _never_ let him live this one down. Stupid asshole...better get here soon... 

"U-Uzumaki-san?" 

Naruto twitched in surprise as a tentative feminine voice addressed him in respectful tones. Kneeling beside him was a young girl in a strange outfit-bright white gi-like top, bright red pant-skirt-thing bottom. Her eyes were sad and worried as she surveyed his form. 

"Oi," Naruto frowned. "What are you staring at?" 

The girl eeped and blushed, and mumbled an apology as her eyes flicked back to his. And then something in her seemed to settle. Naruto couldn't make out what she was saying through the dull sound of his heartbeat in his ears, but her tone was tremulously soothing. He took a breath to tell her--what? That he was fine? And his breath hitched. It was hard to breathe; the air was like a weight was pressing down on him, cold... 

The girl lay a gentle hand on his forehead as he struggled to keep the sudden panic down. Her nervousness melted into a serene, compassionate expression. Naruto thought he saw a glow brightening around her, but chalked it up to his fuzzy vision due to blood loss. 

"Uzumaki Naruto," she intoned. "Do not be afraid. I've come to take you to the final lands of--ACK!" 

Which is when he shoved her out of the way as the not-so-unconscious bad guy surged up behind her. No chakra left in either of them, so they both went for whatever was handy. The bad guy was bearing down with a kunai. Naruto's hand settled on a wooden rod of some sort--_what the heck is_--and swung it as hard as he could. Fortunately, the staff-thing Naruto had grabbed had a much longer reach than a kunai. 

The flat, ladle-like end of Naruto's impromptu weapon cracked as it connected with the other shinobi's head. The man bounced when he hit a tree, landed hard and didn't look as if he were going anywhere after that. 

Naruto collapsed back, the pain in his side a roar that blocked out everything else. The girl scrambled to her feet beside him, a horrified look in her eyes. 

"Oh...oh no! Er, hang on, Uzumaki-san!" 

The hands she placed on his chest were warm and gentle and he didn't have the energy to tell her that trying to stop the bleeding now probably wasn't going to help anything. 

"Oh," he heard her whisper forlornly. "What am I going to do now?" 

And then he passed out.

* * *

A/N continued: Okay, for those who may not know or remember, Hinageshi is the little ferry-girl-in-training from the Yu Yu Hakusho movie. Also (and I swear I'll shut up in a minute) this is me tentatively feeling my way into the Naruto fandom. Forgive me if characterizations and/or terminology are slightly off. 


	2. The Hidden and the Hunting

Part 1: _The Hidden and the Hunting_

Urameshi Yuusuke, for all that he was almost continually involved in strange situations, was not very swift on the uptake when it came to anything more complex than: "Look, it's a monster. Go hit it until it falls over." And that was on a good day.

Today was not a good day.

"Fix it!" Hinageshi cried as soon as he materialized into existence in front of her. Her eyes were wide and pleading and she even dared to grab his shirt and shake him a little. "Fix it! Fix it! Please!"

"…Huh?"

There were trees, Yuusuke noticed. Lots of trees and—where the hell was the ground? Vertigo, for a moment. Yuusuke lurched and caught onto a thick tree trunk and oriented himself.

"I've done something awful," Hinageshi was saying, miserable. "I'm going to be in such trouble! And Botan-san, too."

"Why the hell are we twenty feet off the ground in a tree?" Yuusuke demanded loudly.

"Shh!" the ferrygirl-in-training pressed a small hand to his mouth and cast a furtive glance to the forest floor.

Yuusuke followed her gaze and noticed three people: two small and one tall. They were a blur of speed as they ran deftly through the trees, and he only caught a glimpse of details. One was wearing what looked to be a red dress and had pink hair. The tallest one, with spiky silver hair, was carrying a fourth in a bright orange outfit that was splashed liberally with dark red (blood, Yuusuke's mind supplied, although he couldn't be sure). The small, dark one paused and shot a suspicious glance back toward Yuusuke's position.

Yuusuke pulled Hinageshi in to shield her, held very still and willed himself to be one with the tree.

When they moved on, both he and Hinageshi gave a sigh of relief.

"All right," Yuusuke growled softly. "You're going to start from the beginning. And you're going to speak slowly and use small words, since you _yanked me out of bed_, and according to my inner clock it's only four-something in the morning."

Innocent eyes blinked up at him a few times. Then Hinageshi took a step back, and actually looked at him. He knew the moment she realized she'd been pressed up against a boy wearing loose, light sleepware because the blush started at her cheeks and swept all the way to the tips of her ears."

"I-I'm so sorry, Urameshi-san!" she squeaked and bowed low.

"It's all right, jeez. Call me Yuusuke. None of that formal stuff. It makes my head hurt. Just…where the hell are we? And what's going on?"

So Hinageshi explained about how Naruto (guy in orange, Yuusuke noted) was supposed to have died, but the ferrygirl-in-training had appeared to him too early and then Naruto had saved her (and broken her oar) and how she had felt so guilty she'd not only failed to take his soul, she'd also healed him.

Then she told him that because she couldn't return to the Spirit World without her oar, she'd decided to use a technique he'd never heard of before to summon him here. How she was hoping the great Urameshi Yuusuke, the boy who had beaten more than one near-apocalypse, could help her solve her dilemma before it became an even bigger problem.

"So…" Yuusuke was sitting on the tree, looking off in the direction that the four had gone and letting the story sink in. "You want me to kill the guy?"

"NO!"

At his look, she flushed and looked down.

"Er. Please. There must be another way. Can't… can't you maybe… maybe go back to Koenma and…convince him to…" she faltered. "Do…something? I mean, after all, _you_ got a second chance to live, didn't you, Urameshi-san?"

"Huh." Yuusuke thought about this. "Not exactly the same situation though, was it?"

Hinageshi bit her lip and looked as if she were about to cry. Yuusuke had absolutely no willpower when it came to crying women.

"All right all right! I'll go see what I can do. Sit tight. Keep an eye on Mr. Orange Pants, and I'll get back to you."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh thank you!" She hugged him.

"Yeah…" He patted her shoulder awkwardly. "Okay, so…send me back."

The long blank silence he received in answer was not encouraging.

"Hinageshi… you _do_ know how to send me back, right?"

"Um…"

"….GODDAMMIT!"

* * *

"I…I really should think these things out before I do them. Botan-san always says I would be so much better at this if I gave my decisions even a minute or two of thought."

Yuusuke didn't respond to the nervous humor in Hinageshi's voice. He shoved a low branch out of his way and tromped on in hostile silence.

"Well, but… I panicked!"

His foot caught a vine and he nearly fell over.

"I'm really really really sorry…."

Since the vine wasn't letting go, and Hinageshi wasn't shutting up, Yuusuke stopped shoving his way through the forest and turned to her abruptly. She bumped into him and blushed.

"Look," he growled. "I know you didn't mean to, all right? Just…enough already."

He couldn't stand the tremulous-but-brave look she gave him, hands clasped in front of her chest, so he bent and yanked at the greenery wrapped around his ankle and relished the long moment of silence.

"But," Hinageshi burst out, "but what are we going to do?"

Yuusuke straightened. "If you wanted a good plan, you should've summoned Kurama. I was just more or less planning on walking around until the guys who've been following us for the past half hour show themselves and then we rumble. Or, you know…talk."

There was a rueful pause, and then three shapes dropped out of the trees in a blur of speed, landing in triangle formation around Yuusuke and Hinageshi. They were dressed in the same uniforms as the silver-haired guy from earlier—green and dark blue, vaguely military.

The one in front was hard-eyed but politely professional. A thick, diagonal scar cut across his face. "State your business with the Leaf," he said.

Yuusuke glanced at Hinageshi, and the ferrygirl gave a little start as if realizing she missed her cue. Taking a quick breath and throwing her shoulders back, she stepped forward.

"We…um," she faltered when the lead man's gaze fell to her. After a hesitation, she rallied again, voice firm. "We have come seeking help from those Hidden in the Leaf."

It occurred to Yuusuke that he should've questioned her a little more about _where_ the hell they were and what the rules were around here instead of just sulking off into the forest.

"I will deliver your request scroll to the proper authorities." He held out an expectant hand.

"Oh. Er." Hinageshi bit her lip. "We'd really rather…we don't have a scroll. We were hoping to deliver the request in person…"

The lead man's eyes grew colder. Yuusuke heard the two behind him shift subtly and the battle awareness in him prickled. It took a lot of effort not to turn to see what they were doing.

Guard dogs, sensing something suspicious, Yuusuke thought with a little smirk. Well, he had to admit, they weren't really being very subtle about this.

"You'll have to file a request for a visitation rights and then return through the north pass if you receive notification of approval. That's, of course, after the minimum two week waiting period," the scarred man said stoically.

Yuusuke closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Demon time. Everything became molasses-slow because he was speeding up.

His heart was loud in his ears as hearing became more acute. Quietly, to himself, Yuusuke counted the beats.

_One._

"Please," Hinageshi was saying in that sweet, pleading tone.

_Two._

Yuusuke's fist moved with almost lazy speed as he clocked the lead man right in the temple. The man behind him went down as easily. The woman moved fast enough that his first strike only clipped her jaw, but the next caught her full in the stomach.

_Three._

"It's very important that we…Yuusuke!"

Yuusuke opened his eyes again to the sound of bodies hitting the mossy ground and Hinageshi's indignant squeak. She looked at the three unconscious people, and then shot a glare in Yuusuke's direction.

"That wasn't very nice!"

Yuusuke shrugged. He couldn't really disagree with that. "What are 'those Hidden in the Leaf'?"

After an incredulous pause, she sighed and turned away, moving off into the forest again. "They're a ninja clan."

"…Seriously? Ninjas?"

Hinageshi nodded.

"Aren't ninjas supposed to…I don't know, run around in black or something? Or at least be harder to knock out?"

"They'll be harder _next_ time," she huffed. "Since now they'll be alerted to us."

Yuusuke had to look a little shamefaced about that, even if he still didn't feel particularly sorry.

"Look," he countered after a moment. "This wouldn't be a _problem_ if you hadn't let some _kid_ break your oar. Then we could just _fly_ to where we needed to, and wouldn't have to tromp though the forest trying to avoid the local patrol!"

He instantly regretted raising his voice when her anger faltered into guilt and worry.

Bowing her head, she whispered, "Y-you're right. I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

This was not going well, Yuusuke decided as he patted Hinageshi's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He was really far too used to hanging out with Kuwabara and the other guys. People who didn't take his crap and who hit back as hard as he hit them.

"Er, it's not…_completely_ your fault. It's, um. Hey, a clearing!"

They finally stumbled out the dense foliage, and onto a ridge that dropped into a sheer cliff, and overlooked a wide expanse of flat land.

"Whoa." That was all Yuusuke could find to say.

The ninja village stretched out beneath him, all the strangely shaped houses and miss-match, criss-crossing streets almost too small to see any detail. From this distance, the people where only as big as grains of rice. Directly across from him, four huge, carved faces loomed out of a mountain of sheer rock.

"We're… we're supposed to find him in all of _that?_" The impossibility of it made his knees weak and he had to sit down before he fell over.

"It's smaller than Tokyo," she pointed out, and he looked at her in surprised, blinking when he noticed the determined expression set on her sweet features.

"Yeah," he conceded. "I guess it is. But, Hinageshi…this isn't going to be easy."

"It doesn't matter." Her small hands clenched into fists. "I have to fix this. I have to…I have to prove I'm a good student. Botan-san has done so much for me that—"

"Okay okay!" Yuusuke stood up and brushed himself off. "Don't wear yourself out before we get started. I mean…" The wind pressed against him as he took a step closer to the edge of the cliff. "I've defeated gods before, right? Breaking into a ninja village and finding one kid shouldn't be too hard."

The hopeful expression she shined up at him immediately made him want to take back his optimistic words. He winced a little.

_Think, Yuusuke. This isn't your strong point, but you've been hanging out with Kurama for **years**. What would he do? Think!_

"You…said he got hurt, right? Hurt badly enough that he should've died. Then let's…check out the hospitals!"

She smiled. "That's a good idea."

_Yeah! _Yuusuke grinned and gave her a thumbs-up.

"HEY! YOU THERE!"

Yuusuke turned and spotted more figures in blue-and-green uniforms blurring toward him.

"Shit!" Yuusuke swore, casting a quick look around. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to go and no time to think, and he wasn't sure if he could fight that many without hurting them, since he no longer had the element of surprise.

_This is not my day,_ Yuusuke lamented as he grabbed Hinageshi, took a deep breath, and leapt off the cliff.

* * *

Naruto woke up and recognized where he was by the look of the ceiling. Konoha Village Hospital, with its subdued, hushed atmosphere and clean-washed scent. It confused him for a moment, since he didn't _feel_ hurt enough to warrant what looked to be the critical ward. He was hooked up to a variety of machinery, all of which, as far as he could tell, were informing him of his perfect health.

He sat up carefully. Nope, still no pain. Huh.

It took twenty minutes of careful pulling and prodding and wincing and cursing to get himself free of all the wires and needles holding him in a delicate web.

Immediately, alarms and buzzers began screaming at them. He flinched, pulled plugs at random and kicked things until most of them shut up, but by then footsteps were hurrying down the hallway.

Naruto really didn't feel like explaining to the doctors that he was okay. They would insist he wasn't even if he danced a jig on the ceiling, and then they would make him sit still until they could find Kakashi-sensei. Naruto _hated_ sitting still.

A jump and flip-roll took him out to the roof where he lay flat on his back, face to the sky, letting the heat from the tiles sink into his body. Voices in the room below him drifted on the breeze. Sharp questions fired back and forth, footsteps again, running now. When the noise died down he sat up and looked over the roof's edge, planning the best way to get down.

"Yo!" Kakashi said cheerfully, nearly nose to nose with Naruto.

"AAH!" the blond fell back and then hopped up again as the silver-haired Jounin climbed up on the roof to join him. "KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME!"

He pointed accusingly, but neither his yelling nor his emphatic finger seemed to ruffle the older man.

"Why aren't you in bed, Naruto?"

"Because I'm _fine._"

"Really?" Dark eyes studied him closely.

Naruto grinned and straightened, daring Kakashi to see anything wrong with him. "Yep!"

"That's funny…" His teacher's expression was mildly curious, now, but the tone of voice nettled Naruto.

"Why's it funny?" he demanded.

"Because you ought to be dead."

Naruto felt denial stick in his throat as a chill trickled down his spine and he knew Kakashi was not exaggerating. Involuntarily, one hand drifted to his side, half expecting to feel hot blood and something heavier, more solid, leaking out of a deep gash. But there was nothing, just the clean, soft feel of the hospital shirt. He swallowed.

The perpetual bland pleasantness had slipped from Kakashi's expression again as he looked over Naruto one more time. But before Naruto could say anything, his teacher was smiling again.

"Well, since you're all better, you can join Sakura and Sasuke at the training grounds."

Naruto perked, all fear forgotten at the chance to spar Sasuke. "Yeah! I'll show that asshole he can't show me up and get away with it!"

"We're going to focus on your defense, Naruto," Kakashi countered. "They're not nearly what they should be at your level."

The blond wilted a bit, sheepish. "Eeh hee hee… Aw, c'mon you old pervert. Cut me some slack! That guy just surprised me and…um…Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi's one visible eye was hard and searching as he looked off into the branches of the trees that surrounded the back of the hospital.

"Kakashi…?"

The bright-false smile his teacher gave him did nothing to ease his nerves. "Ah, sorry, Naruto. What were you saying?"

"Er…just that I don't really feel like working on defense today…"

"It's either defense or back to bed," was the cheerful answer. Then Kakashi turned and dropped off the edge of the building.

"Okay! Fine!" Naruto yelled after him. "…jerk." And he gave chase.

* * *

"Whew." Yuusuke let out the breath he'd been holding and eased further out on the branch to watch the tall silver-haired guy (Kaka…something) and Orange-Pants (no longer in orange) bounce like ping-pongs off roofs and out toward the edge of town.

This was proving to be a big pain in the ass.

As far as he could tell, though these ninja had a good grasp on the concept of ki and how to control it, they weren't used to being identified by it. They didn't suppress it or mask it. They could create illusions with it, he'd discovered much to his chagrin, and they could change their forms with it, but no matter what form they took, Yuusuke could see their distinct patterns easily and know who he was facing.

Of course, that didn't really help him defeat them. But it _did_ give him something of an advantage when fleeing. Just compress his ki into a whisper, and mask it to look like a tree or a cat or a lamppost, and he could slip them.

It also helped to have a ferrygirl on his side, creating as loud of a distraction as she dared in another quarter of the village.

Plus, though it wasn't his forte, Yuusuke could be all but invisible when he wanted to be. It was a demon thing. Most humans tended to be blind to things not in their usual perception of the world. And, when he was concentrating hard, with the demon blood alive in him, he could shunt things like his shadow, and the sound of his heartbeat and breathing into another realm, undetectable by human senses. It took a great deal of effort, but he could do it.

Still, despite all of his caution, that Kaka-whatshisname had sensed his presence. Not good.

"Man, Hinageshi," he muttered. "You owe me big."

* * *

"Naruto!" Sakura's face was alight with relief when he landed in the clearing and waved to his teammates.

Ah, that was the warm reception he'd been very quietly hoping for but not really expecting. His grin widened as Sakura ran toward him, but even as she came closer, looking for all the world as if she'd glomp him, he was surprised to find his gaze sliding to the boy behind her to gauge his reaction, something tense in the pit of his stomach.

Sasuke met Naruto's eyes and nodded once. It was a "glad you're not dead" nod, and Naruto recognized it for what it was. He felt his smile might take off his ears.

"Idiot!" Sakura, for all her outward appearance might indicate, did _not_ hit like a girl.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Well, there went his good mood, Naruto grumbled to himself, rubbing the knot he felt forming on the back of his head from Sakura's fist.

"How dare you make me worry about you like that! Jeez!" In a whirl of red and pink, she turned and stomped away.

Naruto hovered on being happy that she'd worried at all, and annoyed at the pain throbbing through his skull, but before he could decide which one to settle on, Kakashi stepped forward.

"All right, settle down." The Jounin pulled a small square of red cloth from his pocket. "I've decided on today's lesson."

As his students looked on curiously, he turned in a sudden movement and slapped the cloth onto Naruto's chest.

"Tag! You're It!"

"Ehh?" Naruto immediately reached down to tug it off. Kakashi deftly slapped his hands away.

"These are the rules," their teacher explained. "Naruto and I are a team. Our job is to protect the red patch. Sasuke and Sakura are the opposite team. Your job is to steal the patch. Any questions?"

"You and Naruto on a team?" Sakura protested. "That's hardly fair."

Kakashi held up a finger. "My only job is to concentrate my chakra to keep the patch stuck to Naruto's chest. It's Naruto's job to defend it from any attacks. We're working on Naruto's defense and on team coordination. You'll have to find a way to simultaneously distract me, and get through Naruto's defenses. Also, no going outside of the clearing."

Sasuke snorted. "'Get through Naruto's defenses'? That shouldn't be too difficult."

"OI!"

"Sakura," Sasuke continued, ignoring Naruto's outburst. "I leave Kakashi to you."

The girl nodded, her eyes locking on her teacher as she shifted into a fighting stance. "You can count on me."

Kakashi smiled. "Ready? GO!"

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Of course, of the twenty replications Naruto made, only one of them was wearing a red patch. But that was difficult to see when nineteen other bodies were getting in the way.

Sasuke kicked three into the dirt with one smooth movement and Naruto winced, hopping back a few steps to put more space between them. Damn Sasuke and his too-cool talent. Well, Naruto would show _him_.

The clones pounced. Sasuke fended them off. The battle continued this way for a good fifteen minutes until Sasuke managed to use one of the replications as a springboard to leap over the others and tackled Naruto to the ground.

"Sakura, now!" the dark haired boy ordered.

One of Naruto's clones broke from the group and transformed back into Sakura as she tackled Kakashi full in the chest.

Then—

Something _hit_ Naruto, like a blast of wind, tearing him from the ground, away from a stunned Sasuke and across the clearing where he stopped and was set on his feet.

Someone held him firmly, one arm across Naruto's shoulders, the other around his waist. The blond Genin twisted and looked up.

The boy was shorter than Kakashi and didn't appear much older than Naruto. He had short black hair, half-slicked back, half sticking up at odd angles as if he'd just climbed out of bed. He was wearing light blue pajamas.

He held up the red patch and smirked. "I win."

* * *

A/N: Poor Hinageshi. She's not as bad as I make her out to be.... Unfortunately, that's how she's writing. Hope you enjoyed! The shonen-ai will show up soon, I promise. eyedart Next part: the rest of the Reikai Tantei show up. Chaos ensues.


	3. Cue the Tumbleweed

Part 2: _Cue the Tumbleweed_

Belatedly, Yuusuke realized that he was, in essence, filling the Bad Guy role this time around. And, as such, should not have stopped to gloat.

_Okay, Yuusuke. As far as Stupid Things You've Done go, this is probably somewhere near the top of the list._

He faced off against Kaka-whatever, the pink-haired girl and the dark one who made him think, strangely, of Hiei. The extra versions of Orange-Pants vanished in puffs of smoke as the original tensed in his arms.

During their moment of hesitation, Yuusuke made a swift assessment of their danger levels.

Silver haired tall guy: on a scale of 1 to 10, Yuusuke placed him somewhere around upper 7 or 8. Probably not able to melt Yuusuke's mind where he stood, but still not someone Yuusuke could take lightly.

Pink haired girl: Yuusuke wasn't sure. He was a bad judge of women fighters, since his only experience was on either ends of the extreme between passive civilian and I'll-kick-the-shit-out-of-you-without-breaking-a-sweat badass. But she'd moved well in the exercise he'd just witnessed. She was fast and thought on her feet. Still, he wasn't overly impressed.

Black haired boy who still reminded him of Hiei (maybe it was the "I'll kill you" glare?): Somewhere between the girl and the teacher. He had the look of someone with a great deal of raw talent that hadn't been shaped yet. Dangerous, but not overly so if Yuusuke was careful.

Of course, "careful" was not really Yuusuke's style.

"Hey there," he greeted with a fierce grin. They weren't attacking him, yet. Good, good. He could fuck with them a little before he ran like hell.

The demon was uncurling, stretching under Yuusuke's skin and behind his eyes. He blinked when he realized it. It was responding to…what?

_Don't get lost in the roll, Yuusuke. You're not _actually_ evil._

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Orange-Pants here for a bit." He tried to soften his grin into something more reassuring. By the way the silver-haired guy narrowed his visible eye and the almost-Hiei pulled a knife-looking thing from a sheath on his thigh, Yuusuke guessed he wasn't very successful. How did Kurama do it? "Don't worry. I'll get him back to you in one piece."

_And, well, most likely dead._

Yuusuke decided not to include that part, and gathered himself to make one of those impressive demon-powered leaps away from the scene. They'd give chase. The silver haired guy might be a challenge to escape, but Yuusuke was pretty sure he could manage it with a little effort.

That's when Orange-Pants bit him.

"OW!" Yuusuke loosened his hold without thinking. "You little shit!"

Instead of making a break for it, the kid rounded on him. "Don't call me a shit, you asshole!"

The kid tried to clock him, but Yuusuke caught his wrist and jerked him forward a little.

"Oh yeah?" _No, Yuusuke. You're not going to get drawn into a bitching contest with a brat. You're not going to get drawn into a—**are you even listening?**_ "Well…you're stupid!"

_Good one._

Surprisingly enough, though, the blond rose to the bait. "WHO'RE YOU CALLING STUPID?"

Wow. Orange-Pants had some _lungs_.

"I'm calling you stupid! Who the hell fucks up dying?" Besides me. "I mean, it's the fucking easiest thing to do, moron!"

"DON'T CALL ME A MORON!"

"I CALL IT LIKE I SEE IT!"

Since Yuusuke found himself mentally reverting to his early-teen years, he easily picked up the soft but annoyed little cough that interrupted the rhythm of his quarrelling. The "teacher cough" he used to call it. The "would you kids knock it off and pay attention to the lesson before I smack you with my ruler?" cough.

Despite the fact that he'd dropped out of junior high and hadn't been in a classroom in years, the reaction was instantaneous. His teeth clicked shut and he turned hostile, sullen eyes toward the sound.

The silver-haired guy had relaxed a bit out of his defensive stance, and was watching Yuusuke and Orange-Pants fighting with a look of bemused annoyance. The small dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. Even the girl had traded her "oh shit" expression for one that was closer to "…my god. They're both complete morons."

"Excuse me," the older man stepped forward, "but I think you have some explaining to do. Who are you? And what do you think you're doing?"

Yuusuke bristled on principle at the patronizing tone. "Urameshi Yuusuke," he declared. "Ruler of one third of the Makai."

"The Makai?" Orange-Pants echoed in a curious tone.

"The Makai," silver-hair drawled.

"Yeah."

"And that is…?"

This is where Yuusuke faltered. Though it wasn't a stated rule that no one was supposed to know about the Makai and Koenma's machinations, it still wasn't a good idea to go blabbing about it. Botan had stopped just short of literally beating that into him.

"It's…a…gang."

"A gang."

"Sure!" Yuusuke gave him a shit-eating grin.

"But why would the leader…one of three leaders of a gang be in Konoha Village?" the girl wondered out loud, frowning at him.

"And why are you _here_?" the Hiei-esque boy demanded. "Picking on _Naruto_, of all people?"

"What the hell's _that_ supposed to mean, Sasuke?" Orange-Pants spat with automatic hostility.

"And what did you say earlier? About Naruto dying?" the girl questioned, eyes sharp.

"Eehh." Yuusuke slouched, trying to project tough but ultimately dismissible while keeping a firm grip on the blond's arm. "It was just a prank."

The way the silver-haired man's eye scrunched shut in a knife's-edge smile made Yuusuke want to take an instinctive step back.

"I see. I wonder if the patrol coming our way would say the same."

"Shit," Yuusuke muttered as three shapes blurred into the clearing, and then blinked when he recognized them. "_You_ guys!"

The scarred leadman kept a hard, steady gaze on Yuusuke as he addressed silver-hair. "Kakashi-san, please take your students to a safe distance. We'll handle this."

Kakashi didn't move. He looked between Orange-Pants and Yuusuke as he spoke to the patrol leader. "I would like to know what's going on."

"We're not sure ourselves, Kakashi-san. Except that this one and his accomplice managed to breach our defenses and are causing havoc. We've caught the other one—"

"Hinageshi?" Yuusuke felt a stab of worry.

"—but so far she hasn't said anything. Still, Kakashi-san…" If possible, scarred-man grew grimmer. "We believe these people are dangerous. Please, step back and let us take this one into custody."

"Dangerous?" the blond scoffed, though he had yet to get his arm out of Yuusuke's grip for all his trying. "_This_ asshole?"

Kakashi still didn't move. "Naruto's my student. I'm in charge of his safety."

"We're not leaving him," the girl agreed, drawing out her own knife-thing.

"He'd probably screw up and get himself killed," put in the dark-haired boy.

"YOU SHUT UP, SASUKE!"

"Fuck." Yuusuke was annoyed at how quickly this had all gotten out of hand. He reached out and tapped a finger against the blond's head, shooting enough reiki through his system to short circuit his consciousness. The boy folded into Yuusuke's arms. "Sorry," he gave the rest of them a tight smile. "Play time's over."

He let go of the tight hold he'd kept on his ki and it crackle over his skin like small sparks of electricity. This was mainly for show, but he knew it looked damn impressive. It also helped open his awareness, helped connect him with the land and his opponents. Stupid Zen shit, he'd called it. Genkai had put his ass in traction for that one.

Now, even with his eyes closed, he knew the trees were ten meters back. He knew that the three-party patrol were all an equidistant seven feet away. The woman's energy was blurring—some sort of an illusion?—in preparation to attack. The kids would move first, impetuous enough to ignore the danger.

_Don't screw this up, Yuusuke._

Anticipation was a thrill of excitement that shot through him like a jolt of lightning. This was going to be one of those fast and furious and life-threatening fights that Yuusuke hadn't had in a while. Six competent fighters against one encumbered by the limp body of their comrade. This was going to be fun.

Yuusuke grinned.

_Breathe. Watch them._

He could feel their power levels sparking against his. They weren't as impressive as A-class demons, but they still weren't something to scoff at.

_Watch them. They're going to move._

_Wait._

_Wait._

_NOW!_

"ACK!"

**- WHUMP! - **

"OW!"

"Dammit!"

"What the hell is—Urameshi?"

Ah. So the person who had landed on his head, now smushing him into the ground as they clambered hastily to stand, had an identity.

"Kuwabara!" Yuusuke snarled, which really would've been more effective had his mouth not been full of dirt and moldy leaves. "GET OFF!"

* * *

Kakashi pulled his attack up short, nearly stumbling.

Oh…kay….?

As far as days went on the scale of strange, this one was climbing up in rank. Beside him, the patrol leader hesitated as well, and shot Kakashi a look, but the silver-haired Jounin didn't have answers for him.

A part of him still wanted to attack. Now, while The Enemy were distracted. They were perfect targets. But that was a separate, older self. And the louder part of him said wait. Wait and observe.

Three more people had appeared from, as far as he could tell, thin air—right _into_ thin air. They had popped into existence about twelve feet off the ground. The largest had crashed headfirst into the dark-haired boy; the other two had twisted in mid-fall and landed lightly on their feet. They seemed to be the dark-haired boy's allies, which, regrettably, evened the scales a bit.

"This is _your_ fault, isn't it, Urameshi?" the larger boy demanded, struggling to his feet.

"It is _not_!"

The swift move that simultaneously knocked orange-haired boy off his feet and to one side was executed with a deftness that made Kakashi twitch.

"_Ass_hole!"

Kakashi blinked as the orange-haired boy was back on his feet in a flash and had tackled the smaller one. They fell into a scuffle that somehow avoided Naruto's unconscious form on the ground.

"Kuwabara! You jackass, knock it _off_!"

Two of them had names, now. The bulkier, orange-haired boy was Kuwabara. The original dark-haired antagonist was Urameshi.

They were loud, obnoxious _children_, Kakashi couldn't help thinking, despite the power Urameshi had displayed earlier, despite the fact that they both obviously knew how to hold their own in a fight, even if they were only play-brawling at the moment. It was difficult to see past their teenager-punk attitudes, even though he knew he should know better.

The other two…

Colorful, was the first thought that struck Kakashi when he looked at the slender redhead. He was bright green eyes and deep true-red hair. He was dressed in rich blues and greens, the clothing expensive but practical if one ignored a few dramatic flares. His mouth was curved into a half-smile as he watched the Urameshi and Kuwabara quarrel out of the corner of one eye. The rest of his attention was focused on the Leafs with an unwavering intensity.

Which made the shortest of the four a sort of anti-everyone else. He was not colorful, and he was not loud, and he didn't show any outward signs of strength or skill. He was small and his shape was hidden in a long black cloak. Kakashi noted that even his hands weren't visible, which was dangerous. There was no way to judge what kind of weapon he used—if he used a weapon. If he was a fighter at all. He looked young. Younger than Kakashi's Genin trio, which of course, meant nothing when it came to deadliness, but it still gave him pause.

Then the boy turned, and locked ruby red eyes with Kakashi. The Jounin almost flinched in surprise. Sharingan…?

Beside him, Sasuke let out a soft hiss of breath.

But no, Kakashi realized after a tense moment. Though the boy's glare was nearly a solid thing of contempt, there was no actual power behind his gaze.

The redhead said something softly, and the small cloaked one sneered, a brief drawing back of lips over teeth revealing—fangs?

The day, Kakashi thought to himself, was definitely getting stranger.

* * *

All they were missing was tumbleweed.

Yuusuke kept waiting for one to blow across the clearing as the groups stood eyeing each other in a tense stare-off. He'd finally managed to headlock Kuwabara into submission and reassess the situation, and it wasn't looking too great.

Hiei's telepathy was a touch of flame in his mind. {_Do we kill them?_}

"No," Kurama said quietly but forcefully, frowning at the fire demon. "No fatalities. They're human."

Hiei sneered.

"They're human. But they feel…off." That from Kuwabara, his voice still a bit hoarse from Yuusuke's strangle hold.

"Hinageshi said they're ninjas," Yuusuke put in.

Kuwabara balked. "Ninjas?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"We didn't know she was even here," Kurama told him.

"Then how did you get here?"

{_The Brat._}

"And _he_ didn't tell you?"

"Hell no!" Kuwabara snorted. "It was just—'Something's going on. I'm synchronizing you with Yuusuke's ki signature and sending you through. Don't screw up.'"

Yuusuke growled, "Typical."

Curious green eyes flicked toward Yuusuke before returning to their careful watch of the people surrounding them. "So what is going on?"

{_Not the place to talk. Their backup's coming. And these few are becoming impatient. They will attack. If we don't intend to fight, then it's time to fly._}

Yuusuke stooped to gather Orange-Pants from the ground. The boy's head lolled, face pale and very young and the Reikai Tantei held him close, chest-to-chest, just to make sure he could still feel a heartbeat. He nearly dropped the kid again when the Yuusuke's demon blood—_flexed_ a bit, a ripple of curiosity.

With a shake of his head, he pushed it back. "Think we can make it?"

Hiei gave him a look of such incredulousness that Yuusuke had to grin a little.

"Right. Sorry. Dumb question."

"Who's taking who?" Kuwabara asked.

Yuusuke glanced at the fire demon, and Hiei's telepathy immediately opened into a net, catching all their minds, and Yuusuke tread softly, unfolding the plan for them to see.

"Everybody got that?"

Three heads nodded.

"All right then. Break!"

As the Tantei fell into formation around him, leaving Yuusuke facing the silver-haired teacher, he couldn't help feeling as if some apology was in order. "Look," Yuusuke said, "I'm really sorry about this. REI—"

"**That's enough!**" The voice was sharp and paralyzing, cutting right through him and stopping him in his tracks. From the way everyone else flinched and then went still, he figured the effect was the same for Tantei and ninjas alike.

Yuusuke choked on his words, and the quick dispelling of his ki felt like an electric shock as he twisted to get a look at the newcomers who floated gracefully down from the sky.

There were twelve of them in all. Solemn, blank-faced women with hard eyes, dressed in dark blue traditional kimonos with deep red sashes. Each one held an ore in delicate hands, the wood a gleaming white. They weren't actually riding them, though. They were holding them as guards on duty held spears as they drifted down the to the earth feet first.

A group of three separated from the main group. The woman in the lead had silver streaks in her black hair. Directly behind her, a flicker of white and red cowered. And walking beside her was an old man with a silly-looking hat who smelled of mortality and aging but impressive power.

{_Human leader._}

Hiei gave voice to what Yuusuke already suspected, even before the old man confirmed by making an abrupt hand gesture as he said, "Leafs, stand down," with a voice of authority.

The woman in the lead, whose kimono was adorned with the kanji for "head" over her left breast in silvery threads, locked eyes with Yuusuke as she spoke, "That's enough, Tantei."

Yuusuke eased back, out of his fighting stance, but still very much on edge. The response was mirrored by everyone in the clearing. Something was going on, and neither side was very pleased.

"Ho-Hokage-sama!" The pink-haired girl stepped forward with a determined expression. "Those people…" Yuusuke blinked when she pointed accusingly at him, though her eyes were still on the old man. "They want something, they've _done_ something to Naruto!"

"I know, Sakura-kun," he said, and though his eyes had softened a bit when they looked at her, his voice remained hard. "This…situation is very troublesome, but I'm sure we'll sort it out."

The old man was Not Happy. But that was fine, because Yuusuke wasn't thrilled himself. He put Orange-Pants down and then straightened. Long, belligerent strides took him well into the Head's personal space. A small frown marred her smooth, milk-white features as she looked at him with black, empty eyes.

"What the hell are _you_ people doing here?" Yuusuke demanded, up close and personal, where she couldn't ignore his question without looking like an idiot.

"This…situation," she said with the same distaste and hesitation as the old man, "has deteriorated enough that we are forced to interfere."

"Deteriorated? They just _got_ here!" He gestured to his team.

"It was past saving as soon as she became involved."

The Head stepped aside to reveal Hinageshi, who was curled away from them a little, head down, trying to look as small as possible.

The Head continued, and Hinageshi flinched at almost every word. "Most useless, idiotic, weakling _brat_ to ever attempt the name of—"

"Hey!" Yuusuke cut her off, nearly snarling. "Like you never made a mistake."

"Actually," the woman said with an arrogant tilt to her head, "I never have."

Yuusuke barely resisted the urge to smack the crap out of her, and might have said something very impolite had the woman beside the Head not spoken.

The kanji over her breast was "voice."

"**Stand away from Uzumaki Naruto.**"

In spite of anger and reluctance and confusion, the people in the clearing did as they were told.

"Now," the Head declared as she stepped past them through the opening provided, "we will end this."

"What exactly are you going to do?" Kakashi demanded, the abrupt and cold tone cutting through the silence. The Voice had pinned him and he wasn't moving, but he wasn't quelled, either.

"We will correct the mistake," the Head told him, coming to a stop beside Naruto and looking down at the unconscious boy. "By taking the life of Uzumaki Naruto."

* * *

A/N: It's proven rather difficult to get the two casts to interact correctly. So far, it's sort of like a junior high school dance. Boys on one side, girls on the other. The music is playing, but nobody's dancing… Of course, I intend to sort that out (by force, if I have to) in the next part. Apparently, I am incapable of writing humorous fluff. Which is rather sad, considering that I enjoy a good humorous fluff piece. Well, it appears there's going to be action and plot for at least a while longer. The fluff will kick in soon...ish.

I thank everyone for their reviews. Though it's not something I usually do, I think I may start answering some of them at the end of the story in this space. I _should_ just reply to you by email, but I'm kinda...lazy...

On a final note: no matter how hard I try and how careful I am, always manages to _screw up my formatting._ We'll see how it does, this time.


	4. Death’s Bureaucracy

Part 3: _Death's Bureaucracy_

The moment Naruto died, he found himself standing outside of his body, staring at the scene around him.

A woman in the dark blue kimono had her open palm pressed against his chest, over his heart.

Sakura was frozen, indecisive, confused, disbelieving.

Kakashi's hand was on his headband, lifting it away from his covered eye.

Sasuke's blood red gaze burned in his pale face.

The Hokage was caught in a movement, as if he would've stopped this, as if he'd been surprised and yet not really surprised.

And the strangers—more of them than the last time Naruto'd been conscious. The black-haired boy was furious, lined in white-blue fire, casting a shadow of great wings.

It all seemed very…distant.

There was no sound at all but a hollow sort of _trickle_, like water echoing in a vast cavern.

No breathing, of course.

Naruto's body looked ashen to the eyes of his ghost, even the color of his hair and clothes were leeched away.

And then…it…

exploded.

Well, no, that wasn't the right word. But there was light—so much light that the sun might have reason to be jealous. And _heat._ Even in the non-dimension Naruto stood, he could feel it.

Pressure, sonic and mountain-crumbling, and enough of it to flatten all those with corporeal bodies onto their backs. Even the women in the dark blue kimonos only remained upright long enough that Naruto caught their horrified expressions, strangely stretching their porcelain-doll faces.

Then, screaming, roaring—the sound of a storm, of lightning ripping the air, of an act of God—the kyuubi tore free of its dead host.

It was pure, unadulterated _energy_. Chakra, Naruto realized, the power of souls. It was raw fury made into radiance, only vaguely defining itself into nine lashing tales, red eyes, gleaming teeth and claws.

_Fear_ was a blow to the gut, dropping Naruto to his knees. Not for himself, but for those still alive. The ground was ash under the kyuubi's feet. The grass gone the moment the creature had been born. Nothing could stop it. Nothing could save them. Nothing could—

In a panic, he looked around, not wanting to see, but _needing_ to see, expecting charred bodies, blackened corpses, he wouldn't be alone in death for long…

Or not.

A bright illumination buffered the kyuubi's rage, impossibly, undeniably, tracing each fallen form with a power not unlike the demon's only less reds and oranges, more blues. Cooler. The core of starlight. Distant white-hot suns.

And footsteps. The third sound Naruto had heard since death.

The boy who walked calmly among the strangers and Naruto's friends alike was wearing a ridiculous outfit. That was the first thought that came to the blond. The second, when gold eyes met blue, was

_This is what it's like to look into the end of all things._

Without breaking his precise stride, the boy reached down with pale, long-fingered hands to one of the strangers, and pulled a dazed redhead up, and continued to walk, taking the other with him. Straight for the kyuubi.

"Don't!" Naruto lunged to stop them before he fully registered the movement. He was programmed to do this. He had kept people safe from the demon since birth. It was like breathing.

But a hand on his arm stopped him, muscles freezing against his will. "Naruto-kun." A gentle feminine voice, not unlike the girl from before who'd found him in the forest.

He turned, and beheld an adolescent girl with a bright smile and warm eyes. She had a sweet face, and her long (blue?) hair was caught into a high ponytail. She looked kind, if a little ditzy. Not at all what he would've expected of Death.

"It'll be all right," she said. He believed her.

The kyuubi hadn't noticed the two who approached it, yet. It was reveling in the air, in the forest, in the ability to stretch for the first time in sixteen years.

It was the Bad Guy. It should not have stopped to gloat.

The golden-eyed god pushed the redhead's long sleeve up with one hand, and with two fingers of the other, drew a long line down the boy's pale arm. The redhead bled as if he'd been cut by a blade.

The smell of blood hit the air like a physical thing, and the kyuubi's attention snapped into focus. It lowered its great head until its eyes were level with the god and the redhead. Its breath curled around them like licks of flame.

The god raised a red-soaked hand, and then brought it down decisively, speaking in thunderous, twisting phrases.

The kyuubi was screaming.

Naruto was screaming.

The world was burning down.

And then…

Implosion.

_

* * *

_

_"Lay him there!" _

_"Kakashi-sensei, please take them out of the…" _

_"We're going to lose him!" _

_"He's going into shock. Don't—" _

_"We've managed to stabilize him. But it's still very…"_

Fractured pieces of awareness slowly began to collect at the edges of his conscious, bringing together a whole.

The bed was soft, but his skin itched and he couldn't move to scratch. It was driving him crazy.

_"Naruto, you idiot…"_

Sasuke smelled like a pine forest in snow.

_"Those people. Why are they still here?"_

_"It's unlikely he'll ever wake up."_

Shinobi boots were near-silent on the tiled floors, but all the nurses wore shoes that clicked hollowly through the hallways. He knew he was in the hospital.

_"What did you do? What the **hell** did you do?" _

_"Yuusuke, calm down. Yelling's not going to—" _

_"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" _

If he just opened his eyes, he knew he'd see the familiar ceiling. He'd see the golden-eyed god and the black-haired boy arguing. The black-haired boy sounded upset, covering it with anger.

_"What are you people doing in here? This is a hospital! Have you no respect? Get out!"_

All he had to do was open his eyes. The rest of his body was weighed down with impossible pressure. He couldn't even shift a finger. But opening his eyes should be easy. If he could just…

_"Naruto. Don't give up."_

Iruka-sensei should know that he wasn't one to lay down in die. Not while there was any chance, any hope. And, Kakashi-sensei, slipping in silently on Iruka's shadow, should know that, too. He would show them. He would… if he could just open his eyes.

"Why don't you, then?"

Naruto did. The ceiling was as expected. Everything still hurt, still felt as if the very air was a weight, pressing down, but after he opened his eyes, moving became easier. He sat up.

"Good morning."

He turned his head toward the greeting and saw the redhead, leaning casually against a wall beside his bed. Pretty, Naruto mused, in that almost-girlish way that reminded him a little of Sasuke. Or maybe Neji, with that long hair. And Naruto's mouth curled a little into a ghost of a smirk.

_Heh. I should call him that next time I see him. Pretty-boy. Neji'd hate that._

The coloring, the pale skin and blood red hair and bright green eyes reminded him of Gaara, though. That made him twitch and stare at the other boy more closely. But no, the green eyes were open, almost gentle. Nothing of a murderous demon. Nothing of a threat.

Naruto let his eyes roam, touching on the bland generic art on the walls, the opened window, the closed door. For all that he _felt_ he should be in the critical ward this time, he recognized this for recovery ward.

His eyes settled on Iruka-sensei, sitting in a chair but slumped over asleep on his bed, on top of a scattering of papers—pop quizzes, from the look of it.

Naruto smiled. "Iruka-sensei!"

"He won't hear you."

Naruto resented people who seemed to know everything, just on principle. He rounded on the redhead angrily. "Why? What's going on?"

"You're still unconscious." The boy pointed, and Naruto twisted and looked back to where he pointed and, in a weird moment of vertigo, saw himself still laying on the bed, eyes closed, pale, breathing shallowly.

Naruto yelped and lurched, and went sprawling on the ground. And oh, another strange, strange sensation as he could _feel_ himself pulling away from his body. Like two sides of Velcro ripping apart.

Despite the fact that his heart was a fast and hard beat in his throat as he scrambled back to his feet, the monitors in the room recorded nothing but a steady, calm rhythm. The body in the bed continued slumbering, undisturbed.

Looking at it made the hair on the back of Naruto's neck stand on end. He didn't like it, didn't want it to be true. With a soft growl, he walked around the bed and stood next to Iruka.

"Iruka-sensei. Oi…" No response. Naruto tried again, louder. "OI! Iruka-sensei!"

He reached out to grab his teacher's shoulder, but though Iruka felt solid under his hand, he found he couldn't move it, couldn't affect anything, no matter how hard he pulled. It was like trying to move a granite statue. He couldn't feel the texture of Iruka-sensei's vest.

"…excuse me?"

The redhead was talking again. Naruto didn't want to listen. "Shut up, you! I'm busy!"

"My name is Kurama."

Naruto paused and looked up. Green eyes met his with that same open, friendly expectancy, and the shinobi felt a little bit like a heel. He ducked his head for a moment, then looked up and answered.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

Kurama dipped his head in a small bow, and asked, "May I call you Naruto?"

It seemed a strange question to ask and Naruto felt his cheeks heating though he wasn't sure why. He shrugged to cover his disconcertion. "I guess." A sudden thought occurred. "Hey…why can _you_ see me?"

Without moving from his place against the wall, Kurama pointed to another bed in the room, where another unmoving form rested. Red hair splashed the white pillow.

Naruto blinked. "You too?"

"It appears so."

"Che," Naruto expelled the curse on a frustrated breath and let Iruka go, stepping back. "This sucks."

Amusement lit the other boy's eyes. "I agree."

"Why are _you_ so calm about this?"

Kurama shrugged. "This is not the strangest situation I've ever been in. Though it is, possibly, among the most annoying." He shifted so he was facing Naruto. "Actually, I've been waiting for you to wake up."

"You have?"

"Yes. There are other people who would like to know that you're…well…not _conscious_, in the literal sense but…_aware_, anyway. Do you mind?"

Kurama's absolute politeness and slightly formal way of speaking was beginning to grate. Naruto grit his teeth. "Yeah, sure. But, how are you going to tell anyone anything if they can't hear you?"

The sly smile was not what Naruto had expected in response. "I have ways." Kurama closed his eyes, and there were a few moments of electric silence. Naruto could feel his chakra reacting to…something.

Then there was a popping sound by his head. Naruto flinched and reached for weapons that weren't there as a familiar girl with a blue ponytail appeared in the air beside him, hovering above the ground, sitting on an oar.

"Naruto-kun!" she said happily as she dropped to the ground and pulled him into a hug. "Thank goodness!"

"Er…oi…um…" Naruto couldn't even summon indignation through his shock. He'd received very few hugs in his life, none from random female strangers.

She pushed him back to arm's length. "You're all right! He's all right?" She seemed to be directing that at Kurama as her eyes looked Naruto over for possible injuries. Naruto flicked a desperate look over at the redhead, hoping for some sanity from that quarter. Kurama smiled at them fondly.

"He's all right."

Satisfied, she nodded with a grin. "Good. I can tell Hinageshi-chan to stop biting her nails off, then."

The door crashed open with the force of someone who didn't give a shit about the hospital's quiet rule. Naruto's hands twitched toward his nonexistent leg pouch again. Iruka sat up and, still blinking sleep out of his eyes, stood and turned to shield Naruto's unconscious form from whatever threat there might be.

"Oi, Botan! Are you in here?"

Long strides ate up ground as the black-haired kid strolled into the room and Iruka relaxed marginally.

Botan _blurred_ for a moment, and then seemed to grow duller. As, Naruto realized, everything in the "conscious" world was. As he if he were staring at it through a dusty window.

"Yuusuke, shush!" the girl scolded, whapping him on the arm. "Jeez."

"Is…it time?" Iruka looked uncertain.

Botan nodded. "It's time."

"Time?" Naruto demanded, though he knew no one was listening. "Time for what?"

"Everyone else should be coming," the black-haired boy said, and then. "Hiei," as if he were talking to someone standing at his elbow. A glitchy moment of black static later, and he was—a small boy dressed all in black, with large red eyes and a white bandanna. "Could you create a barrier when we're all here?"

Hiei nodded and was gone again. Having people make plans around him without being able to influence anything made Naruto want to beat things.

"What's going on?"

A hand settled on his shoulder and he looked up at Kurama in surprise. Though the redhead didn't look much older than Naruto himself, he was a good head taller.

"We're going to see if we can't fix this," Kurama said.

* * *

This is not what the Angel of Death had been expecting to do on her day off. She thought she should make that very clear as soon as possible.

As soon as the light of the summoning circled faded, she stepped carefully out of its boundaries, and locked eyes with what appeared to be the highest-ranked person in the room.

"What. The. _Fuck._"

"Apologies, Lena-san," Koenma said with a little dip of his head. The son of the God of the Afterlife didn't sound particularly sorry. The Angel was not mollified.

"Don't give me that. What the hell is going on?"

Her eyes swept over the people collected into a room she considered far too small (plus, it was decorated in a truly hideous, bland, country hotel sort of way), and quickly dissected them into Humans, and Things-Not-Human. A second glace sub-divided them into People She Knew, and People She Didn't Know.

Of the Didn't Knows, she could only see the old man and the boy with the orange aura clearly. Death shown on both of them like a spotlight. Though, on the orange kid it seemed…off somehow. She tilted her head and searched for his name.

"Uzumaki Naruto," she said in a voice of authority (which she only pulled out for special occasions), "front and center."

He obeyed, looking a little sullen, a lot wary. She ignored it and put her hands under his chin, tilting his head back so she could study his eyes. She then made him open his mouth so she could check his tongue and his teeth, and then had him turn around so she could get an overall look at him.

"You look good, kid," she said. "What the hell are you doing out on my shit list?"

That was, apparently, the _wrong_ question to ask.

"Lena-sama, this _brat_—"

"Leave Hinageshi alone, you cold bitch!"

"Yuusuke, _please_ control yourself…"

"—it was an accident, I _swear_ I—"

"Lena-sama, these incompetents have—"

"—and the _oar_, it just—"

"Fuck you!"

The Angel of Death snapped her bubble gum and waited for the storm to pass. When no end appeared in sight, she sighed and said, "Voice, if you'd please…"

"**Be silent.**"

There was quiet.

"Thank you. Now. Let's start over, shall we? Koenma, you like to hear the sound of your own voice. Why don't you start."

The junior god shot her a disgruntled look, but took a step forward and cleared his throat. "Uzumaki Naruto's soul was not collected at the time of his natural death—"

"Natural?" the orange-souled kid squawked. "I was _gutted_!"

"Natural insofar as it was your _time_ to die." Koenma gave Naruto a sharp look. "In any case, his soul was not collected, and his body was healed so that death was thwarted. In an attempt to correct the mistake, Urameshi Yuusuke was summoned from his home dimension and then proceeded to only make matters worse."

"Hey!"

"Though it was not really his fault," Koenma amended with a small smirk. "The Twelve, sans you," he nodded to the kanji of "soul" sewn into the fabric of her shirt over her heart, "decided to take matters into their own hands, and the Head killed Naruto personally. Which released the nine-tailed fox demon that had been sealed inside Uzumaki Naruto since birth."

Naruto flinched, paling a little, eyes darting over the other people in the room, most of which couldn't hear the conversation, but he probably didn't know that.

The kid felt a little shell-shocked. Lena chose to ignore him for the moment as the Head pushed her way to the front.

"Lena-sama, this was in no way our fault. I was merely attempting to clean up the blunder of that _girl_." Frigid eyes landed on Hinageshi, who ducked behind Botan.

"Hey," Yuusuke interrupted. "You sent a _junior ferrygirl_ to collect the soul of a _nine-tailed fox demon_. I think that the 'blunder' is on _your_ end, don't you?"

The Head practically hissed at him. "Idiotic, low-class—"

The Angel held up a hand to forestall another verbal war and then kept it there, letting the situation process in the silence. When the hush became too oppressive, she hummed the Jeopardy theme song to herself for a while. Yuusuke shifted impatiently on his feet. Naruto fidgeted.

Finally, she came to a decision and pointed to Yuusuke. "I'm going to have to agree with the detective on this one."

"_Lena­_sama, Uzumaki Naruto is _dead_."

"Eh." Lena made a dismissive waving gesture. "I can fudge that."

"He's host to a powerful, terrible _demon_. Surely you cannot think to bring such a thing back into the world."

"From what I can tell of the situation, which, admittedly, is rather sketchy, is that the demon is still _in_ the world, and the kid is the only thing keeping it from running rampant."

"…M'not a kid."

That from Naruto, and Lena continued to ignore him. She really _really_ wanted to get back to her vacation. Fun in the sun. Walking around beaches with unnaturally pale skin, telling cute surfers that they were going to bite it, soon. Mmmm, surfer-boys…

However, the Head wasn't letting her argument go. "Measures can be taken now that the beast is subdued and unconscious. Surely there's a better, _safer_ way of dealing with—"

"Right then. That would really be Koenma's area of expertise, wouldn't it? Well, lordling?" Lena gave the junior God of the Afterlife a look that said _Wrap this up quickly._ "What do you have to say about it?"

Koenma and the Angel of Death were only lukewarm allies at best. He tolerated her because she was Botan's good friend, and she managed to keep on the polite side of snarky because he was Botan's boss and friend and they were basically working for the same goals. But it grated on both that neither truly outranked the other. They were both too used to getting their way because they _said_ so to really get along.

Still, there were times, very rare times, when they clicked perfectly.

Koenma met her eyes and smirked. "I think the best way to handle this would be to reinstate Naruto's soul into his body as a counter to the demon."

"I agree," Lena said briskly, over the Head's choked protest. "Of course, to be fair, the kid's going to have to go through a Trial, like every other soul who's gotten a second chance."

Kuwabara coughed something that sounded like, "All one other…"

Kurama thwapped him on the shoulder.

"OI!" Naruto had found his voice again. "Would you stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

"Lena-sama, I must protest…"

Lena shifted into her true form. The night-black water that poured from her everpresent wounds spilled across the floor and splashed in a froth when it hit the walls, rising quickly. Her wings, all nine of them, beat at her back, an ache that pulled her from the ground but it hurt to fly, too weighed down by chains and corpses. She towered over them, seeing them only as smudges of light, the mortal ones burning quickly toward the end of their days.

"**I HAVE SPOKEN**."

It took a bit more effort to return to the body she usually wore. Down, down… stuffing herself into the human shell. Five fingers on each hand, five toes on two feet, it was tricky remembering the details, sometimes. Perky breasts…there. The Angel sighed. She really hated doing melodramatic shit. But sometimes, that's what it took to shut the Head up.

"Okay," she said, dusting her hands together smartly, her voice loud in the stunned silence. "I'm going back to Bermuda."

"Bye!" Botan waved cheerfully. "Have fun!"

"Thanks. I'll bring you back one of those little umbrellas they put on drinks. I know you like those." She waved flippantly at all of them. "Ciao!"

With the sound of a wave crashing against a cliff, her form flattened into a black shadow and then was gone.

* * *

A/N: I've changed the category of the story, and I've also changed the rating. The former because, well...it's more action than romance at the moment (though there _was_ a hint of Sasuke/Naruto which you may have missed if you blinked while you read this), and the latter because, well, Yuusuke swears. A lot.

Just to get this out in the open from the beginning...though it may not be particularly apparent so far, Kurama _is_ my favorite character. So, as much as I will try my hardest to keep everything equal, all characters getting to say or do the same number of nifty things...Kurama is my favorite character.

And now... stuff that most people won't care about! (But it's fun for me, which is all the excuse I need.)

Replies to comments: (Thank you everyone! I appreciate all the comments. A few of people said some insightful stuff and asked good questions, or in some way, tickled my desire to babble at them, so here's my response)

- Lucas: Thanks! Yes, I realize the pace is a little quick. There's a reason for that, which is in no way literary. This is my exercise in quick-writing. I'm trying to force myself to do this in a timely manner, and that's translated through the writing, which it shouldn't be. But I'm new at this. It usually takes me _months_ to update. Anyway, I hope to correct this later as I get a hang of it. Not in this part, though, obviously. ::sweatdrops::

- Akki: I get the sense that the Makai and the Reikai aren't allies. Therefore, whatever power Yuusuke holds as a demon isn't going to translate well into the Reikai. It'd be like giving an enemy general command of your troops. He _can_ pull some rank as a Reikai Tantei, but not much. He also has the ability to beat the crap out of just about everything, which earns him some influence...but ferrygirls, who are, essentially, un-killable, and are protected by Enma himself, probably wouldn't be that impressed.

But that brings me to another point. You're right, Yuusuke is horribly, terrifyingly strong. He probably _could_ wipe Konoha off the map if he really really wanted to. However, he seems to have issues killing humans (he angsts about killing Sensui and that guy was _seriously_ trying to kill him _and_ destroy the world. The Konoha ninjas are just defending their home turf). And, have no fear, he is _much_ stronger than the Hokage.

About the Kyuubi: from the brief seconds I've seen of the "fight" between the nine-tails and the ninjas, it doesn't really look as if the demon is trying. It swishes its tails and then prances a little. It looks like its _playing._ Which makes me wonder.... Also, I would guess that it was summoned, which breaks the rules of what can and can't get into the human world ( which pisses off Koenma. ::smirks:: ).

Whew! I hope I answered all your questions. Thanks for your review!

The Mad Fangirl: Yuusuke is surprisingly easy to write, considering that Kurama is my favorite character. I'm glad you like it! As for Kakashi and the rei gun... we'll just share a secretive smile and leave it at that. Also, as much fun as it would be to have Kurama knock the nine-tails down (what a fight _that_ would be) there are some logistical problems which get in my way. The main one is that Kurama has five tails in this fic and...the nine-tails has, well. Yeah. That's a _huge_ difference in power (even if I fudge it like a kinda want to so that silver foxes are superior to red foxes--although that kinda feels like a cop-out). Also, Kurama _likes_ Naruto...for reasons which will become clearer later on.

But yeah, that would still be a fun scene.


	5. MerryGoRound

Bitty Pre-A/N: Sorry for the wait! In apology, this chapter is a bit longer than the others.

Oh, and because several people expressed interest, these are the **pairings **planned: **SasuNaru**, **KakaIru** (most nonsensical pairing EVER, but I adore it), but I also like **NaruNeji** and **NaruGaar**, so there will be hints of that. On the YYH side, it seems to be working toward **Kurama/Hiei**, which is something of a surprise, since my YYH boys almost never settle on a pairing. They tend to just all flirt with one another, so we'll see how things work out on that front.

* * *

Part 4: Merry-Go-Round

Any observer who happened to glimpse the present scene might have wondered if they'd gotten lost on their way to the hospital, since the noise level and the tense emotions clashing in the air were not what one usually associated with the reverent quiet of a recovery room.

An observer who was native to Konoha would've been able to identify most of the room's current occupants, and not be entirely surprised when a lazy voice managed to undercut the multitude of partial conversations/arguments going on with one mild question.

"So? Did it work?"

Apparently, Kakashi-sensei had completely missed when the gigantic winged _thing_ that had pretended to be a woman had made her decision so forcefully clear. Actually, a glimpse about the room would've revealed that no one seemed very shaken by the Angel's appearance, nor by her rather dramatic departure.

A fellow shinobi may have concluded that this meant she hadn't been visible to the mere mortals and those who weren't dead.

An observer more familiar with the Reikai Tantei would've known that they'd seen stranger things than a power play between two gods.

The two boys—the tall orange-haired one and shorter dark-haired leader-type—stood to one side of the room near the door along with the blue-haired girl, her little red-headed student, and the god.

The shinobi were arranged around Naruto's bed, and there was a clear line between the two parties.

"It worked," confirmed the teenager with golden eyes in a voice that was not at all godlike. It was a mellow sort of alto that always sounded on the verge of breaking in a puberty-induced squeak. And whatever power he projected, whatever vastness burned in his eyes was rather offset by the silly blue-and-red outfit, the "Jr." inscribed on his forehead and, most importantly, by the cute blue pacifier caught deftly between his lips.

Still, Iruka-sensei remained polite, if a bit frantic. He didn't leap forward and shake answers out of the young god. Instead, he voiced his questions from Naruto's bedside. "But…how do we know? When will he come back?"

There was strain around Iruka's eyes and mouth, darkening his gaze with worry as it flicked almost compulsively toward Naruto, tracing the still figure over and over as if sheer repetition would force some kind of change.

"He…doesn't look any different," Sakura added softly.

"Listen," the god said a bit impatiently, "bringing people back from the dead isn't easy. It'll take a few days while his body prepares to receive a soul again. Until that time, there isn't much you can do but watch and wait until a golden glow surrounds him. It will only last for one hour, during which time he must be kissed awake."

A shock went through the room. An observer might have been rather amused by the stunned blinks and momentary awkward silence. Even Kakashi raised an eyebrow. The Reikai Tantei looked rather bored, although the big orange-haired guy made a face and glared at the dark-haired one, who gave him a cheeky grin in return.

At some point, possibly when very drunk, possibly in the midst of a game of Truth or Dare that _none_ of the people who had participated would ever admit to or speak of ever again, Kuwabara had revealed the result of Yuusuke's desperate hunt for someone who would kiss _him_ awake those six years ago. Yuusuke hadn't stopped teasing him about it since.

Of course, more scandalous secrets than _that_ had come into the open during that particular game, so Yuusuke couldn't taunt Kuwabara as rigorously as he would've liked, for fear of getting his own dirty laundry aired.

"K-kiss?" Sakura squeaked finally. "Like a peck on the cheek?"

"No, a _real_ kiss," the god insisted, though he didn't elaborate on what exactly a "real" kiss was.

"But…_why_ a kiss?" Sakura pressed. This was said with a suspicious glare in the god's direction, as if she were sensing a closet pervert and had no intension of pandering to his twisted sense of fun without some thoroughly good reason. When your teacher is Kakashi, a person becomes pretty good at picking up on these things.

And now the dark-haired Tantei looked interested. Apparently, this little detail had never been explained to him, either.

The god's face took on a serious expression, golden eyes dark and molten. "You ask _why_ it has to be a kiss?" he demanded, and then he beamed, ruining the imposing image. "I have _no_ idea!"

At this point, an observer might have beaten their head against a wall in sheer frustration. It looked as if many in the room were going to do the same, but were spared when the blue-haired girl stepped forward to try and save face for her boss.

"Er…it's all very very technical!" she bubbled with a brittle cheerfulness, stepping forward to act as a buffer, hands up and waving in a "please don't kill me because I work for an idiot" kind of gesture. "I'm sure Koenma-sama just didn't want to get into it. It has to do with the body's ability to accept life energy, and how, when a body dies it doesn't—"

"It _is_ very technical," Koenma cut in sternly. "And I _don't_ want to get into it. Suffice to say, this is what needs to be done. Whether or not you do it is your own prerogative."

"Naa, Sakura," Kakashi said with one of his mischievous smiles. "It wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

"I refuse!" Sakura snapped immediately, sticking her chin up and turning her head away in a huff. She'd not been given a good reason, and she didn't like that everyone was expecting her to do something without even _asking_… Mou, it was enough to make her Inner Self want to rear up and break something. Possibly someone's nose. "I'd rather _anyone_ else… I'd rather _you_ do it, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi-sensei's visible eye slitted open and slid over to Naruto with a lazy, considering look that was incredibly _feline_. "Well…"

And then his gaze bumped up against Iruka's, which grabbed it in a strangle hold, skinned it, and drop-kicked it back without flinching.

Iruka-sensei had quite a few fluster-buttons, and embarrassment-buttons, and sudden-bouts-of-shyness-buttons, all of which Kakashi enjoyed pushing on a regular basis. But he had only one oh-my-fucking-god-I-will-_gut_-you-and-dance-on-your-remains-button, which was triggered by issues involving Naruto's safety. Kakashi only pushed it when he had a point to make.

"Er," Kakashi swallowed the rest of his sentence and switched gears hastily. "Well, I'm sure we could find someone, when the time comes…"

"And _until_ that time comes, there's nothing more you can do here, correct?" A rather frazzled-looking nurse, standing in the doorway holding a chart, voiced that cool, imperious question. "If that is the case," she continued without waiting for an answer, "I respectfully request that you leave immediately. This is a _recovery_ room. The patients here need peaceful _rest_ and _quiet_."

There was a bit of shuffling and abashed gazes dropping to the floor, except for Iruka whose eyes were still on Naruto, willing him to show some sign of life.

In the face of such a fierce female threat, it would've been no real surprise to an observer who knew him that the god caved first, though he swept out of the room haughtily to cover the fact that he was beating a hasty retreat. His Tantei followed after, the two boys shooting last glances at their own friend on the bed. The blue-haired girl pushed her younger ward out before her.

Sasuke followed shortly after, expression on neutral, hands in his pockets, and, of course, Sakura hurried to join him. Kakashi, after some gentle teasing and not-so-gentle prodding, managed to herd Iruka away, which left the room to the peace and quiet the nurse had so hoped to achieve.

She nodded in satisfaction, and tended to her duties, checking on her patients and grumbling about their visitors before leaving as well.

Then the room was empty. And _boring_. The silence seemed more oppressive than restful. It was times like these that an observer might talk just to hear the sound of his own voice.

"Hey…are you sure this is going to work?" Naruto demanded of the red-haired boy who was floating at his side where they hovered near the ceiling of the room.

"To my knowledge, it's never failed," Kurama said honestly.

Naruto slanted him a narrow look. "How many times have you seen it happen?"

"Seen? Never," he admitted, looking a bit sheepish. When Naruto slumped he hastened to add, "But, one of my teammates went through the ordeal, and he's very much alive."

"Oh?" Naruto perked a little, but his enthusiasm dampened as he considered the implications. "So…just once before, huh?"

"Well, yes…" the redhead looked a bit disheartened himself, staring down at where his body lay. "And we both have…complications that might interfere with the process."

"Huh?" Naruto had never been the brightest crayon in the box. And besides, he didn't want to hear about anything that might make this even messier. "I don't care," he decided. "I'm going to make it back. I can't die here. I've got too much I want to do still."

Kurama smiled. "With that sort of determination, you should be fine."

"Hell yeah!" Naruto punched the air, words echoing dully through the non-space they occupied.

All he received in response was a polite smile from Kurama, and the steady beep of the heart monitors below. He wilted a bit, dropping his arm.

"So…we wait, huh?"

"Yes."

Naruto drooped further, drifting lower to the ground. "This is going to be booooring."

"You could try meditating."

"_Med_itating?" The blond shot Kurama an incredulous look.

The redhead looked a little defensive. "It isn't as if we can play card games or something."

Naruto scowled. Prankster at heart, it didn't sit well with him that he was invisible, incorporate and couldn't _do_ anything with it. "We're ghosts, dammit! Shouldn't we at least be able to go scare people or something?"

Kurama laced his fingers around his knees and floated closer to Naruto. "The only people who could hear or see you would be psychics, priests and others trained to interact with the supernatural, or people with the power to see beyond the norm."

"'Beyond the norm,' huh?" Naruto wondered if that applied to Sasuke. If Naruto's present state of not-alive could somehow be used in the perpetual campaign of pissing Sasuke off, then it might just make up for the fact that he was dead.

As if summoned by the thought, a Sasuke-shaped shadow detached itself from the general darkness outside, leapt for Naruto's window…

And nearly collided with another small, dark, spiky-haired shadow who was trying to use the same means to enter the room. At the last moment, the other twisted with a burst of speed and made it inside as Sasuke paused on the windowsill. Then the two visitors locked gazes.

"Hiei?" Kurama said at the same time and in pretty much the same surprised tone as Naruto said, "Sasuke?"

Oblivious to the two ghosts, Sasuke and Hiei glared at each other, clear challenge electrifying the air between them.

Naruto vaguely remembered he stranger, Hiei, from earlier. Small and slender, without his coat and scarf this time. He wore a loose black tank top and loose black pants and boots. The muscles in his arms were well defined—fighter, or, at least, athletic. Bandages wrapped up one arm, and a single one was tied as a bandana strip over his forehead. Pale, pissy-looking, eyes wide and deep red.

The blond blinked a few times as he looked back and forth between them. Sasuke: slender, still on the short side, spiky black hair, pale, pissy, bandages wrapped up one arm, wearing baggy black clothing. His eyes weren't red at the moment, but even without that, Naruto concluded as Sasuke straightened, feet braced on the sill, the similarities were "…eh?" worthy.

Their stances and expressions were almost a mimicry of each other. Arrogance with an almost unhealthy dose of suspicion and paranoia as they faced off.

Sasuke was the first to speak. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Red eyes narrowed, swept over Sasuke's form with contemptuous dismissal, and then turned away as Hiei moved toward the beds. Clearly, the Gennin was far enough below what was worthy of Hiei's attention that he didn't rate an answer.

Seeing the Uchiha snubbed so casually tickled Naruto, who, despite being dead, didn't pass up the opportunity to mock his rival. "HA! Shows _you_, bastard!" he crowed, pointing emphatically.

And then Sasuke moved, leaping from the window in a blur to place himself between Hiei and Naruto's bed. He hadn't armed himself, yet, but his stance was defensive and clearly said "don't push me."

It made Naruto blink. "Huh? What's he doing…?"

Hiei, however, only quirked an eyebrow as he stopped next to Kurama's bed, which had been his destination all along.

After a moment, the Uchiha relaxed out of his stance, scowling to cover faint embarrassment, and then turned away with an impressively cool, dismissive gesture of his own, looking down at Naruto's still form. Then, a bit self-consciously under Hiei's steady regard, Sasuke took out a small silver bell with a loop of leather cord tied at the top from his pouch and placed it on the table next to Naruto's bed.

"It's for good luck," the Gennin snapped out, because the weight of Hiei's silence demanded some sort of explanation.

"Hey!" Naruto perked. "My bell! Thanks, Sasuke."

"What is it?" Kurama asked, drifting closer to take a better look.

"It's the bell Kakashi-sensei gave my team as sort of a graduation gift." The redhead's expression was curious, and since Naruto didn't have anything else to do, he elaborated. "For our test to become Gennin—that's a ninja rank. It's the first one you can get right out of the Academy—Kakashi-sensei told us that we had to each steal a bell from him in order to pass. There were only two bells and three of us. His point was that sometimes you have to work together, and sacrifice for the greater good of your team. But, uh…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head ruefully, "we didn't really get it and kinda made asses or ourselves.

"But! We pulled through in the end. And as a reminder of his lesson, Kakashi-sensei gave each of us a bell after he declared he'd accept us as his Gennin students."

_It was the first gift anyone had really given me,_ Naruto added to himself. Then thought of Iruka-sensei and amended, _That wasn't food._ Not that it made Iruka-sensei any less cool in Naruto's mind.

"So…you carry it for good luck?" Kurama concluded, looking at the bell thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

"Not exactly very stealthy."

Naruto bristled, but the teasing light in Kurama's eyes was gentle, so his anger fizzled into vague annoyance. "What do _you_ know?"

Kurama smiled, as if he knew more than Naruto could possibly imagine. The blond was saved from having to respond by Sasuke's gasp.

Alarmed, Naruto spun to face him, because Sasuke didn't usually show surprise unless something was _really_ off-kilter. Sasuke wasn't hurt, and wasn't bleeding or being attacked by something awesomely powerful, but he _was_ staring in shock at Naruto's body…because it was _glowing._

"What the—shit!" The blond gave Kurama an accusing glare. "Your boss said it wouldn't be for a couple of _days._"

Kurama had that harried look of someone used to having things go horribly wrong. "Well… I can't really make excuses for him, but…"

Naruto didn't have time to listen. He was too busy panicking. "Sasuke! You bastard, what are you doing just _standing_ there? Go get help! Go get Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto remembered the look on Kakashi's face when Sakura had mentioned kissing the boy back to life and twitched. "Er. Or…um. Someone. Anyone!! _Sas_uke!"

But the Uchiha, last descendant of his clan, genius member of Team Seven, number one rookie in his class was just…just… _standing _there. With a strange sort of hesitant, anticipatory, slightly guilty look, one that Naruto recognized as someone planning to do something they weren't sure was the right thing to do, even though it would be really fun.

Sasuke was choosing _now_ to discover his inner prankster?

"ARGH! SASUKE, YOU'RE THE BIGGEST BASTARD THAT EVER BASTARD-ED A BASTARDLY—**ARGH!**"

"Naruto!" The blond heard Kurama calling after him as he turned away and shot through the walls, heading outside. Being incorporate sure helped with speed.

Once outside, he paused for just a moment, panting, trying to organize his thoughts. Okay, obviously, Sasuke was about as useful as a paperweight, at the moment. Actually, no. Paperweights were probably _more_ useful, because they held down paper and Sasuke wasn't doing _any_thing.

Right then. Sasuke was _less_ useful than a paperweight. Sasuke was probably the most useless thing Naruto had seen in his young life (barring those couple…dozen…times Sasuke had saved his life).

Okay! So, that left Naruto with a question. Who to go to? First instinct: Iruka-sensei. Smart, dependable, safe Iruka-sensei. And…where would he be?

Naruto glanced up to judge time. Well into twilight, enough that it was almost completely dark. Iruka would probably be at home, or at the Academy catching up on paperwork.

He checked the Academy first, and found nothing. Then Iruka's home, but the apartment was dark, and when Naruto flew through the walls to check and see if maybe Iruka had gone to sleep early, he found that the bed was neatly made, and everything looked as if no one had been there in a few days. Huh. Strange.

The ghost hovered for a moment, indecisive. Come to think of it, last Naruto had seen of Iruka, his teacher had been in Kakashi's company. Maybe they'd gone out to eat somewhere?

Iruka _had_ looked pretty upset when he'd left, Naruto remembered with a guilty wince. And his brown-haired sensei had his comfort food, just like Naruto. So, Ichiraku Ramen, it was!

Fortunately, because Naruto was out of ideas, Iruka _was_ at Ichiraku Ramen, sitting at the bar next to Kakashi. The silver-haired Jounin had two empty bowls beside him, though the table in front of him was currently empty so it didn't look as if he was having thirds. Iruka, on the other hand, looked to be on his first bowl, and it was still mostly untouched, except that the Chuunin seemed intent on making fantastical shapes out of his noodles.

As Naruto flew up to them, Kakashi reached over and stole Iruka's bowl away with a quick, deft movement.

"Hey!" The Chuunin straightened and shot Kakashi an indignant glare.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said pleasantly, visible eye crinkling. "Were you going to eat this? I didn't want it to go to waste."

"Of _course_ I was going to eat it," Iruka snapped in an automatic contradictoriness that always seemed to occur around Kakashi.

"My mistake," Kakashi murmured, sliding the bowl back over.

Caught in his bluff, Iruka gritted his teeth and then sighed, settling in to eat a few bites, just so he couldn't be called a liar. Kakashi beamed. Naruto nearly slammed into Iruka's back. Flying wasn't really like running and he wasn't too good at controlling it, yet.

Iruka jerked and started coughing.

"Iruka-sensei?"

Kakashi's voice was drowned out by Naruto as be backpedaled and then immediately got to the point. "IRUKA-SENSEI, YOU HAVE TO GO KISS ME AWAKE! Or…er…" Naruto blushed, hard. "I mean, _find_ someone to kiss me awake! Right now!"

Kakashi was patting Iruka on the back. Iruka got his breathing under control, and took a sip of water.

"Naruto," Kakashi said.

The blond flinched in surprise and then gave the Jounin a hopeful look. Well, Kakashi-sensei _was_ a little weird. Maybe _he_ could see Naruto?

"You can't stop worrying about him," Kakashi continued, speaking to Iruka in a steady tone.

Iruka straightened his spine and tried to recover what dignity he could, not deigning to answer.

"You really ought to have more faith in him," Kakashi continued in a mildly reproving tone. "He'll make it back."

"NO I WON'T! NOT IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T STOP MOPING AROUND AND _DO_ SOMETHING!"

Neither one indicated that they'd heard anything, despite the fact that Naruto had used his loudest "scaring the enemy with the sheer power of my lungs" voice. Okay, clearly this wasn't working. Why? What had that Kurama guy said about who could see and hear him? Psychics, priests and people who could see more than the norm?

Maybe if Kakashi were using his Sharingan…but that wasn't something he did just for the hell of it, and Naruto couldn't think of a way to force him to do it that wouldn't take a lot of time and effort. How long did he have? Not very long, Naruto was sure, even though he couldn't remember the exact time limit.

Dammit!

Naruto turned away just as he heard Iruka say in a quiet, tired voice. "I know."

Crap! Crap crap crap. He couldn't let Iruka-sensei down _now._ Naruto flew off down the street, directionless, trying to think. Thinking wasn't really his forte, especially when he wasn't in the middle of a battle. If only he had Sakura to talk to. She'd call him an idiot, but she'd think up a solution anyway. Maybe he could find her. Maybe she was already working on a plan.

Maybe she was buying flowers at the local flower shop.

Naruto skidded to a halt as he saw the pink-haired girl come out of the store and throw a wave over her shoulder, "See you, Ino!"

Ino! A little light clicked on in Naruto's head. Ino had those freaky mind-control powers. Did that count as being psychic? One way to find out.

Naruto blasted through the door with enough force to make the nearby flowers shiver and glanced around the shop. The blonde girl was slouched behind the counter with a bored expression, though she did straighten and glare suspiciously at the door when he came in. For a moment, he brightened with hope. But the next moment she sighed and grumbled about drafts and folded back down on the counter, pillowing her head in her arms.

"Ino!" Naruto flew up to her. "INO!! DO-YOU-HEAR-ME? I-NEED-YOU-YOUR-HELP!!"

She jerked upright and shot a glare in his direction. "Shut _up_, Naruto! Jeez! Can't you ever…" the blonde trailed off, blinking a few times. "Huh?" And then she looked around the store, eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Naruto…?"

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" He waved his arms at her frantically and jumped up and down.

"Weird. I must be hungry. I'm getting low blood sugar induced hallucinations."

"I'M NOT A HALLUCINATION!" He would have grabbed her and shook her if he could've. "Some ultimate mind control technique user _you_ are."

With a happy "Dinner time!" Ino left the counter and moved into the back room, digging through cupboards. Naruto trailed after her, thinking furiously. Ino could well be his only chance. She'd heard him before…maybe if he just kept yelling…

"INO, LISTEN TO ME! YOU HAVE TO GO KISS ME AWAKE! DO YOU HEAR ME? **YOU HAVE TO GO KISS ME AWAKE!**"

Ino paused in the process of taking a box of pasta out of the cupboard. Her eyes became blank and glazed. Her hand slowly lowered back to her side. "I…have to go…"

With stiff, automatic movements, the blonde turned around and started heading for the door. But before she could get there, she tripped on a corner of a rug and stumbled, hitting her head on the doorframe.

"Ouch!" She jerked, pulling back, blinking as her eyes cleared. "Why…what am I…? Why did I want to go k…ki…." She started to look decidedly green. "EW! There is no _way_ I just wanted… with _Naruto_…! ARGH!"

In a flurry of blonde pigtail, she spun and ran madly into the backroom and up the stairs, where her family lived.

"Hey! INO! Get _back_ here!" He didn't bother pursuing her, though. With Ino, it would a double battle—first to get her to hear him, and then to get her to actually _do_ the deed. He didn't think he had that kind of time. Or patience.

Crap.

Okay, where did that leave him? Naruto ran through the short list of girls he knew, trying to find a solution.

Hinata! Yeah, Hinata was a sweet person, probably the nicest person he knew. She wouldn't begrudge him a little kiss, would she? And she had those Hyuuga eyes! They could see anything! He bet she would be able to see him.

Where would she be…?

Probably at home, he concluded, with a little nod. He wasn't really comfortable poking around her family's grounds. The Hyuugas were kinda…scary. But he really didn't have a choice in the matter, so he went.

He paused outside the gates, wary. The guards didn't seem to see him, but they still projected intimidation really well, so he edged to one side and pressed against the wall further in the shadows, expected to slip through. Instead, a shock of pain flashed through his palms and arms and he found himself sitting on his ass, stunned, and a few feet away.

"What…the hell…?"

Repeated attempts in several places along the wall brought the same result, and the first pain that Naruto had felt since he'd died. By this time it was some minutes later, and everything, right down to the roots of his hair, hurt.

"Dammit," Naruto grumbled, struggling to stand back up. Had the Hyuugas warded their house against ghosts? Jeez, how paranoid could you get?

Naruto hurt and felt tired. It was late. He was out of ideas. He looked off down the dark street, depression pressing in, despite his best efforts to shove it aside.

"Dropout-boy." The deep voice edged with amused sarcasm spoke directly into his ear, and was accompanied by a sudden presence behind him.

"AHH!" Naruto jerked, staggered and fell over. He leapt immediately back to his feet as Neji chuckled at him softly. "Neji! You asshole! Where the hell did you come from?"

"Inside," he jerked his chin toward the house.

"How did you find me?"

The Hyuuga folded his arms, stance arrogantly casual. "I felt you attacking the wall. No more stealthy as a ghost than you are as a ninja." He smirked. "Dropout-boy."

"Hey!" Anger and relief duked it out in Naruto's mind for a moment. He'd found _one_ Hyuuga, just not the right one. But Neji _could_ see him. "I thought you stopped calling me that."

"That's before you got yourself killed on…wasn't it a C-rank mission?"

"B-rank! And how the hell do you know about it?"

Neji shrugged. "The Hokage is trying to keep it from the general public, but Hyuuga is privy to just about everything that happens in the village because we're the oldest clan. And _nothing's_ very secret in the Hyuuga household for long." He grinned. "Especially if you are the strongest carrier of the bloodline limit. That said," Neji continued. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you know where Hinata is?"

The Hyuuga frowned. "I don't keep tabs on my cousin. What does she have to do with anything?"

"I need someone to kiss me so I can come back to life!"

Cool white eyes regarded him with a steadiness that always managed to look decidedly eerie on Neji. It was probably the lack of pupils. "Kiss you back to life?"

"Yeah! What, your freaky eyes didn't tell you _that_, pretty boy?"

Neji twitched. "_Pretty_ boy?"

_Ha! Knew that would piss him off_. Naruto grinned, then noticed, for the first time, that Neji wasn't looking him in the eye. Instead, he seemed to be concentrating his gaze lower than that. And, after an uncomfortable moment, he realized that Neji's gaze was fixed on Naruto's lips.

"Hey…what are you doing?"

"What?"

"What are you _doing?_ Where are you looking?" Naruto did affronted dignity very well.

Almost as well as Neji did icy disdain. "Idiot. I'm reading your lips. I can't actually hear you, only see you. What did you _think?_"

Naruto thought it was really unfair that ghosts could blush. He looked down, but rallied again quickly. "Hey…um."

"What?" Neji growled.

"It wouldn't be so bad if… if _you_ kissed me awake."

The look of complete shock that froze Neji's aristocratic features was totally worth whatever beating Naruto would receive upon reviving. He burst out laughing. "Ha! Joking!"

"Na…ru…to…" If the Hyuuga had had the ability to glow with sheer fury, he would've been doing it.

Naruto's laughter cut off sharply as tearing pain clawed through him, dropping him to his knees.

"Naruto?"

It was surprising how quickly Neji could flip off his anger, like a switch, Naruto noted in a part of his mind not screaming in agony.

There was a _wrench_.

And then…

Naruto gasped, drawing someone else's breath in as he did. There was warmth, sweet and soft over his mouth. His body felt heavy, the echoes of pain fading. The light was too bright, his vision blurry. Someone was bending over him. Someone kissed him again.

Naruto felt a shiver of pleasure and surprise shoot through him. Who was—with _tongue_ and—?

He closed his eyes and kissed back. Just a little, tentatively. Breathing in someone's scent—pine trees in winter…

And then he blinked his eyes open and they focused this time, on pale skin dusted with a blush and night-dark eyes close enough that Naruto could count the long lashes. Their expression was soft and a little wary, which was so _strange_, so different from the hard, cool norm because this was…

"Sa…Sasuke?"

* * *

A/N: Whee! I liked this chapter. I've been watching _Naruto_ over from the beginning, and I have a much better handle on the world and the characterizations, now, _and_ I like the pace of this chapter much better than previous ones. I also realize the the pretense for this crossover is a bit on the shaky side. But! Really, this crossover started as a way for the YYH crew to play around in Naruto-land. That it developed a plot at _all_ is due mostly to the stubbornness of my muse. 

As a side note, I apologize for all the capslock and the rather arbitrary capitalizing of Naruto terms. At the very least, I will try to keep it consistent. And, really, there isn't a better way to illustrate how _loud_ Naruto can be.

More rambling! It has come to my attention that a surprising number of my readers know little to nothing about Yuu Yuu Hakusho. So! To clarify some things. The Twelve are actually original characters that I created because I felt the need to. The Angel, however, is _not_ mine. She's introduced in manga #4 as a single-panel character whereupon we learn her name and get a one-line description. I elaborated on that a little. It won't matter because I don't intend to bring them back.

Those of you familiar with YYH will notice I fudged a lot on the whole coming-back-to-life thing. My reasoning is this: I'm pretty sure that bringing people back to life is not a common occurrence that has a clear set of rules. I think Koenma makes a lot of it up as he goes, and for each person, the circumstances change the outcome. For instance, Yuusuke had his trial _before_ coming back. Obviously, that's not the case with Naruto.

Replies to comments: (Which I will try to keep short, because I babbled for so long...)

**Night-Owl123**: Is Yuusuke stronger than the Kyuubi? Hmm... if I were going to bet, I'd probably put my money on Yuusuke. If the Kyuubi were still in Naruto's body, Naruto spends a lot of his time trying to suppress the demon, while Yuusuke more-or-less seemed to embrace his. However, if Yuusuke and Kyuubi were on equal footing... I think it would be a toss up.

There was a long anonymous message about the validity of putting Naruto on trail. Simple answer: Koenma and the Angel did it for political reasons, and not necessarily for common sense ones. They were covering their asses.

**Vialana**: I have two theories about where the Yondaime's soul is, neither of which would make it very accessible to the YYH crew unless they did some fancy finagling. He'll probably come up at some point, though.

Okay! I think that's all for right now. Thank you everyone (again) for commenting. I really appreciate it. I have PAGES of comments, now. O.o I don't think that's ever happened to me before.

Until next time!


	6. Pillow Talk and Ramen Raids

Part 5: Pillow Talk and Ramen Raids

"Oh. So _that's_ a 'real kiss.'"

Later, Naruto would claim temporary brain damage as a reason for why those were the next words out of his mouth.

"_Sas_uke-kun? **NARUTO?**" That was a shrill, familiar female voice at the door, though Naruto's mind still wasn't processing well enough to place it, exactly.

"Ow. Jeez. Eardrums." Unfamiliar male voice.

Naruto glanced around, and suddenly, the whole scene became horribly, crystal-y crystal clear.

Sasuke had--

Flinch. No, start somewhere else. Sakura was standing at the door to the recovery room, a daffodil crushed in one fist, a look of...something on her face. Naruto wasn't sure what the something was, but he didn't think it was good. She was livid, that much he could tell, but that emotion was almost drowned in the shock and disbelief and faint hurt.

At some point, once he got over his own shock and disbelief, he would feel horribly horribly guilty. Then he would _immediately_ blame it on Sasuke, and _this_ time he would be _right_.

And Sasuke--

Twitch. No, not yet. Who else was in the room?

Hiei was standing right beside Kurama's bed, bent over him a little, one hand lightly touching Kurama's cheek. The redhead was staring up at him with a look of shock on his face.

An expression that Naruto guessed was much like the one on his own face at the moment. Because _Sasuke_ had _kissed him._

Part of him was panicking in a way that most boys would have if they'd found themselves suddenly lip-locked with toads, dogs, old women, or other boys--icky gross things that should never be found kissing. That was normal. That was fine.

Part of him was _raging_ because this meant Sasuke had saved him. _Again._

_I'm going to _kill_ him. And then I'll kiss_ him_ back to life. See how much _he_ likes that. ...wait._

It was the other part of him that disturbed Naruto, that made him feel uneasy-hot and off-balanced. It was watching him with a smirk that was a little evil and a _lot_ knowing, and it was showing him what it might have been like if Sasuke hadn't stopped at just a kiss. The images would have probably been a little racier if Naruto'd actually had any experience with what exactly boys did with other boys past kissing. Most of the nude-y magazines he'd managed to beg, borrow or steal had predominantly featured girls.

And this was pretty much where his brain stalled.

Yuusuke and Kuwabara (who had just finished doing the heebie-jeebies dance from seeing two sets of boys kissing and had slingshotted directly into slightly hysterical amusement) were standing at Kurama's bedside wearing identical somewhat sickly but determined grins.

"We should've sold tickets," Yuusuke drawled.

Sakura turned and fled the room. Kuwabara smacked Yuusuke upside the head.

"Ow! What the hell was _that _for?"

Naruto's mind focused almost desperately on a thought that didn't have to do with Sasuke. Sakura was hurting, and Naruto couldn't stand that. He made a lurching effort to get out of bed, brought up short when Sasuke caught his arm. The touch was enough to ignite his temper, and the blond swung around, eyes alight with an anger that was just shy of fear.

"Let _go_ of me! Why the hell did you have to do that, anyway?"

Sasuke scowled, expression caught somewhere between embarrassment and scorn. "If I hadn't you'd be dead, you moron."

Naruto flushed, annoyance pushing confusion further into the back of his mind. "Shut up! I would've found someone else--_anyone_ else! Neji, even!"

Sasuke's scowl deepened, and his grip on Naruto's arm was almost painful. "Neji?"

"Yeah! He could see me. I bet he would've..." Well, no, really. Naruto couldn't see Neji lowering his dignity so much, but at this point he was on a roll and did care. "Or he could've found Hinata. Hinata would've been _much_ better than you."

With a final yank, he pulled away from Sasuke, got tangled in the sheets, and promptly fell on his head on the hard tile floor. This time, Sasuke didn't try to stop him.

"You didn't think to come to one of _us_?" That was Yuusuke's amused voice, somewhere beyond the ringing in Naruto's ears. "You know, the people who _know_ what's going on? ...Sort of, anyway. More than most people in your village."

Actually, it hadn't occurred to Naruto to find one of the strangers. The blond grumbled and growled as he fought free of the sheets and managed to get to his feet, not answering directly. It would probably have been the first thing _Sasuke_ would have done. That thought didn't make Naruto feel any better.

"How was _I_ supposed to know?" he demanded finally.

"An idiot could've figured that out," Yuusuke chortled.

Naruto swung around, ready to yell the dark-haired boy's ears off, but stopped when he noticed the incredulous looks the rest of his team was giving him.

"I really don't think _you_ have call to mock someone else for lack of observational skills, Yuusuke," Kurama said dryly, and the others nodded in solemn agreement. Well, actually, Kuwabara was _grinning_, but that didn't make his agreement any less firm.

Yuusuke bristled. "Shut up!"

The ensuing brawl between Yuusuke and Kuwabara brought the nurses in to scold them. When they saw that Kurama and Naruto were awake there was a flurry of surprised activity, wherein Naruto was poked and prodded and asked a lot of (what he considered) stupid questions which all boiled down to he was _fine_ and they didn't know how he'd survived impossible odds _again._ Kurama was also given a clean bill of health.

Then the guests were promptly kicked out, with stern reminders that it was well past visiting hours, and the two patients were told to sleep, because there would be a round of follow-up tests tomorrow, and paperwork if they were approved for release.

And sometime, shortly after the last nurse had gone, turning the light off as she left, Naruto stared at the ceiling waiting for his eyes to adjust and realized that Sasuke had gotten away without getting his ass kicked for the shit he'd pulled and that was just _wrong._

Naruto sat up. Then he envisioned the face of the head nurse on duty, her hair pulled back in a severe bun, her eyes as hard and sharp as kunai… and he flopped back down in frustration. She didn't wear the uniform, but he could _swear_ she was Jounin. In any case, he didn't want to cross her.

Unfortunately, he was completely _not sleepy_. So not sleepy, in fact, that he could actually _feel_ the seconds dragging by, like trickles of sweat down that hard-to-reach ticklish spot on his back.

How many hours until respectable people would let him get up again?

He glanced at the clock and noticed that Kurama wasn't sleeping, either. Faint light gleamed off the redhead's open eyes and his lashes twitched as he blinked.

_"Cool water in the quiet."_

The soft voice drifted over from Kurama's bed. Naruto glanced over. "Huh?"

"What?" was returned through the dark.

"Did you say something?"

"No." There was a note of confusion in Kurama's voice, the kind a person got when asked a strange question seemingly out of nowhere.

Naruto frowned and decided to let it go. The seconds crawled slowly into minutes. After a while of Not Sleeping, he bounced his head against the pillow a few times, trying to fluff it into a new shape without moving too much. The cloth and fluff in his ears muffled the next words, but they were distinctly _words_, even if they didn't form a coherent sentence.

_"Feet gone. Bruised. Dying."_

"What?" A little alarmed, Naruto jerked his head around to look at Kurama more closely. When the other shifted to look at him, his face was lost in the shadows.

"Excuse me?"

Well, he didn't _sound_ like he was dying. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I...haven't said anything."

_"So loud, now. Annoying."_

"Look, I'm _not_ hearing things." Naruto sat up, glaring into the darkness, stretching out with every sense that had been honed to sharpness over the years of training. He still couldn't find anyone else in the room, but that didn't mean much, considering there were dozens of shinobi in Naruto's village alone who could hide themselves from him completely if they tried.

Naruto tested the air, tongue flicking out as he inhaled slowly. His sense of smell was sharp enough that even Kakashi-sensei had trouble deceiving it if Naruto were focusing.

Cotton sheets, smelling of sunshine and green-sy outside, having been air-dried on the roof of the hospital. Oils, ink and parchment, from the salves and the scrolls the medical nins used in their healing. The faint burn of electricity from plugs and wires. Kurama was a strange mixture of earthy wood and metallic fire, traces of ozone, blood from the cut on his arm that was bandaged and hadn't healed, and overlying warm, human scent. The sharp-sweet smell of Sakura's daffodil, which someone had picked up off the floor and put in a vase on the table beside his bed. There was the lingering scent of the doctors, orchid perfume from one of the nurses, Sakura's strawberry sweetness, Sasuke's pine tree coolness. That was all.

"All right," Naruto growled, still not convinced. "Who's there?"

There wasn't a response. Kurama was watchful in the next bed over, but didn't look particularly anxious if the lack of real tension in his body was any indication.

_"Listening?_

"I'm listening," Naruto said, shifting toward the voice. It definitely wasn't Kurama's, though there was something in the inflection of the words, a similar accent and tonality. It was coming from somewhere between the two of them.

_"Understand?"_

"Oh, I understand." Which wasn't quite a lie. He didn't know what was going on, but he did recognize the words as they were spoken.

"You understand?" This from Kurama, who sounded rather surprised, but no longer in a way that indicated he had no idea what was going on. He was just a bit startled at the turn of events.

Had Naruto been anyone else, this might have made him suspicious. As it was, he was just annoyed. "Yeah. I've been _saying_ that I _heard_ something--"

"Hearing and understanding are two separate things. You understand what you're hearing?"

"What's so hard to about it?" Confusion made Naruto twitchy. "I mean, the sentences are kinda screwy, but the words make sense..."

_"Interesting, many-tails."_

Before Naruto could replay, a babble of voices swelled from the darkness, like a thousand people had gathered outside Naruto's window as the breeze shifted, lifting the curtains. There were so many jumbled sounds, that they blurred into staccato syllables and light laughter. He couldn't make anything distinct out in the din, and he clapped his hands to his ears. He'd keyed his senses up to search for the intruder, and the noise crashed against him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS--mmph!"

He jerked and fell back in a defensive roll as a hand clapped over his mouth. Kurama tumbled with him--_when had he moved?_--and pinned him with an ease that would be insulting as soon as Naruto's instincts let him think of anything besides the threat.

"Stop!" Kurama's quiet but forceful voice brushed against his ear. Since he really didn't have any choice at the moment, Naruto relaxed. "It's just the trees."

The hard hand lifted from his mouth and Naruto blurted. "The _wha--mmph!_"

This close, Naruto could read Kurama's reproachful expression, even in the darkness. When the hand lifted away again, the blond remembered to keep his voice low.

"The what?"

"The trees. Outside. That's what you're hearing. They're chatting in the wind. They do that."

Naruto considered that for a few minutes. Nope. Still not making a lot of sense. "Okay, what?"

"The other voice--that was the daffodil."

Feeling kinda stupid, but unable to come up with a better response, Naruto said, "_What_?"

There was a soft sigh, ticklish breath against his skin. "I think it has something to do with the binding."

"...I'm just going to repeat myself again."

"If I let you up, you're going to behave?"

That was too insulting not to answer. "Be_have?_" He struggled, trying to throw the redhead, and only succeeding in tiring himself. Apparently he really wasn't fully recovered. "Fine," he huffed, finally.

"Good." Kurama eased off and sat up. The wariness was back in his body, along with some real tension. Over what? He'd been fine with _flowers_ or whatever talking to him, but now he was nervous about _Naruto?_

Recovering his dignity and scooting back so there was room between them on the bed, the blond fixed his strange companion with a look. "So, what about binding? And _why_ does it make _trees_ talk?"

"That's not really an effect. That's more of a...side-effect. The purpose of the binding was to seal your demon." Naruto jerked in an automatic flinch. Kurama continued without a pause. "But in the process our ki seems to have...mingled a bit."

All he can seem to do is ask questions like an idiot, which makes him feel a bit resentful. "Ki?"

"Er..." Kurama seemed to grope for a definition that wouldn't be more confusing. "Spirit energy?"

"Oh! Chakra." That, at least, he knew. "And the talking trees?"

"It's not that they've just started talking, it's that you can understand them, now. That's...my influence. It's a...skill I have. To hear them."

"They talk to you _all the time?_" That sounded annoying.

Kurama smiled, moonlight highlighting the curve of his lips. "No. Mostly they just have conversations around me, and it's almost second nature by now for me to filter out those sounds."

Naruto frowned. If he listened, he could still hear the sound of the trees talking outside, their voices rising and falling with the wind, but at least it didn't sound as if a bunch of people were all yelling at each other any more.

_"Understand now? Mind as slow as the spring in mountains."_

Despite not being well versed in flower-ese, Naruto understood an insult when he heard one. He found the shape of the cheerful yellow flower in the dark--now cool gray as everything else under the moon--and glared.

"Hey, are all plants so annoying?"

Kurama followed Naruto's gaze and shook his head. "Well, it's dying. Also, it's a daffodil. They're surprisingly profound, but you'd never know because they're pretty sarcastic."

So, daffodils were like Shikamaru in plant form. It was easier to wrap his mind around the idea of plants with personalities if he could assign them to people in his head. But oh man, Shikamaru wouldn't take him seriously ever again if Naruto blurted out that he'd thought of the other boy while looking at a flower.

"Hey, so...what do _I_ do?"

"You don't have to do anything. This is a temporary effect. It will fade on its own."

"No, I mean...what do I contribute? I get to hear plants, what do _you_ get?"

At that moment, both their stomachs gave distinct, "I'm empty, so fill me, dammit!" sounds. They both ducked their heads, a bit embarrassed, and then caught each other's eye across the bed and broke into grins.

"Well," Kurama said, "I _do_ have an overwhelming urge to eat ramen. Is _that_ you?"

Naruto gave his best foxy smile--mostly teeth. "That's me! And I'm hungry." He declared this while he shifted up onto his knees, hands folding into the familiar beginning seal.

"What are you doing?" Kurama asked curiously.

"Well, I want ramen, and you want ramen, right? If we hurry, we can catch last call at Ichiraku."

"The nurses check every half hour. We'll be caught." Despite the words, the tone itself wasn't discouraging. Instead, it was considering, as if working through how to get around this obstacles.

Naruto, however, was already one step ahead. "Got it covered."

His hands flew through formations that were almost automatic by now, chakra sparking in a small, controlled surge. "_Kage bunshin no jutsu_!"

When the smoke cleared, Kurama made a small sound of surprise as two more Narutos grinned at him.

"Okay, you guys. You know what to do," the original said.

Kurama slid off the bed, out of the way as the first copy scampered up to take Naruto's place under the light covers. The second performed _henge no jutsu_ and then smirked with Kurama's face as the first redhead blinked. Naruto waited gleefully for his response to staring at a mirror image of himself.

"It's a little on the short side," Kurama said finally.

"Shut up," Naruto grumped, a bit disappointed. Most people who weren't used to _kage bunshin_ were at least a _little_ thrown off, which always amused Naruto's inner prankster. "Transformations aren't my specialty. It's close enough. Just be grateful it's not female."

Copy Kurama stuck his tongue out in a childish show of pique that was quite out of character and then climbed into the other bed, settling in. Satisfied that everything was in place, Naruto hopped out of bed, bare feet hitting the cool floor.

"Okay, let's go!"

He turned toward the door, and nearly ran head-long into Yuusuke, who was standing in the hallway wearing the loose cotton shirt and pants that were patient standard in the hospital.

"Hey," Yuusuke said.

"Yuusuke," Kurama's voice was soft, and not all that surprised, considering.

"What are you doing? Sneaking out?" The dark-haired boy's eyes lit up. "Can I come?"

"What are you doing here?" Kurama demanded, ignoring the questions.

That earned him a shrug. "We're just down the hall. It's not like we have anywhere else to go right now. The old guy with the funny hat said he'd find somewhere to put us, but until then, it's free room and board at the hospital." Then, not to be deterred for long, Yuusuke pressed, "So where are we going?"

"Food," Naruto summarized succinctly. "We're hungry."

"Food sounds good," Yuusuke agreed. "I could go for food."

A new voice joined the conversation. "What kind?"

Yuusuke stepped out of the way to make room for Kuwabara as the taller boy stepped up next to him.

"Ramen!" Naruto answered. "But we have to sneak out and do this quickly, or else the nurses will catch us. I can't keep the clones active forever."

"Oh! So, like a raiding party! We're like frat boys from a college. Only with ramen, and not panties."

"It's _not_ a raiding party," Kurama insisted with a long-suffering look.

"And you never went to college," Kuwabara pointed out.

"So?"

"You know, we're going to attract attention standing around like this," Kurama said casually.

Kuwabara shook his head. "The nurses on duty are flirting with one of the night janitors."

"Thank you, Mr. Psychic."

Kuwabara glared briefly at Yuusuke, but didn't take the effort to pursue.

"Even so," Kurama said pointedly, "we should go."

"Out the window!" Though Naruto considered that to be the obvious answer, Yuusuke was shaking his head.

"Where's your sense of adventure?" he demanded. "If we're going to do this, we do it right. We're going out the front."

Naruto waited for the other two to shoot that idea down, but Kurama only smiled, and Kuwabara muttered a half-hearted, "You're crazy." But otherwise seemed willing to go along. Well, they weren't shinobi, so the path of least resistance didn't have to be their prerogative. Being in a team with Sakura and Sasuke had beaten some sense of stealth into Naruto, but through the front was still much more his style. He found himself grinning.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were at Ichiraku, breathless and laughing, and placing their orders. Kurama and Naruto both ordered extra large pork ramen with extra _nori_ and milk to drink.

"That would've worked a lot better if Urameshi hadn't insisted on humming _mood music_." Kuwabara placed his order and shot the dark-haired boy an aggravated look.

"A little help from Naruto's clones, and we were fine," Kurama said as he smiled sweetly at the serving girl, who blushed in response.

"You _have_ to teach me that." Yuusuke was leaning his arms on the bar counter, the words finishing the end of a laugh. He'd been mischievously impressed by the _kage bunshin_, which Naruto had shown off again in their mad escape from the hospital.

"_Never_ teach him that," Kuwabara countered fervently, sitting on Kurama's other side.

"Why not?" Not that Naruto had much intension of teaching a stranger a forbidden technique.

"Just...trust me. You _don't_ want to deal with the consequences. One Urameshi is enough."

Yuusuke smirked. "You're just pissed because I used your head to vault over the wall, aren't you?"

"I've _seen_ you jump thirty feet straight up! The wall was maybe seven. _Seven_, you asshole!"

Kurama almost choked on a mouthful of milk, trying to laugh and swallow at the same time, which only swung Kuwabara's ire in his direction.

"Stop _laughing_, Kurama!"

The redhead made a piece offering of one of his pork pieces, which Kuwabara grumbled over until Kurama added another, and then looked far too triumphant about the transaction. Kurama was in the process of poking an apology for playing off his compassion out of the taller man, when a clear, ringing female voice interrupted them.

"NARUTO! What the hell did you do to Sakura?" Ino was standing behind them on the street, her finger pointing accusingly at the blond. Then, in an afterthought, she added with a slightly bewildered look. "And why are you awake and out of the hospital already?"

"Wouldn't she know he was awake if she knew he did something to Sakura?" Kuwabara asked no one in particular, voice low. Both he and Yuusuke had more or less instinctively withdrawn in that Guy-Who-Knows-How-To-Stay-Off-of-Strong-Women's'-Radar way, hunching over in their seats and concentrating their eyes on their meals, though they kept their ears on the conversation.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto yelled back, though without his usual force. The guilt he'd felt when he'd seen the Look on Sakura's face was back with reinforcements. Her bruised daffodil was insulting him as it died by his bedside. "It was Sasuke's fault!" And it _was_, the bastard! Why the hell did _Naruto_ have to deal with this?

"Don't you bring him into this, Uzumaki Naruto." Ino's voice was frosty and her eyes were the kind of dangerous that only happened when anyone hinted that her crush might be less than perfect. "Sakura wasn't very coherent when she was telling me about whatever happened, but I got enough of it to know that it was something _you_ did."

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! SASUKE KISSED _ME!_"

In the ensuing silence, there was a stir from the other boys at the counter.

"Oh my god!" Yuusuke said as if something had finally just sunk in. He was staring at Kurama with a shocked expression. "Hiei _kissed_ you!"

* * *

Author's Notes: I finished this just in time to Not Post It, as FFdotnet did upgrading whatnot. Grumble.  
Wow. This chapter got _stuck_ for a while there. Um, also, I went to Yaoicon and it was good, and then I spent a lot of distracted time looking at all my pretty merchandise that I spent _so much money on_. Excuses, excuses. (Sorry sorry for the delay.) 

I never meant to influence Naruto's world with this fic. I just meant for the YYH boys to drop in, have some fun while Naruto and Sasuke fumbled their way toward a relationship in their cute dysfunctional way, and then leave. It looks as if those plans are changing as the plot grows details and whatnot. Next chapter is still supposed to be relatively light hearted, though. We'll see how well that goes.

Now--onto that part that amuses only me!

Replies to comments: (You know I adore all of you comment-leaving people. I do. Even if I don't reply to you directly.)

- mkh2 - You requested a list of defined terms, and though you later came back and proved you didn't need one, it's still a good idea, as I'm just sort of writing this as if everyone knows what I'm talking about, which them might not. I'll probably post a list of terms next part. Or, at least a link where some key titles and YYH vocabulary are defined.

- Sierra-Falls - Thank you! Yes, I know that these two series are a bit of a stretch to cross. It was part of the challenge (and the sheer joy I get when I announce what I'm writing to friends; of course, I think I desensitized them a little with my YYH/Rurouni Kenshin crossover Utena fusion)! Thanks for not letting the strangeness weird you out too much.


	7. Roomies

Part 6: Roomies

"Ow…."

Kuwabara leaned over to observe Naruto where he lay crumpled upside down, legs propped up on the side of the ramen bar, upper body sprawled under a couple fallen stools. "You doing okay, down there?" he asked with some sympathy.

"…huh?" Naruto managed past an aching jaw as the words bounced in his ringing ears without really registering.

"That's what I thought."

The tall boy reached down and helped right the stools while Naruto sat up and rubbed tentatively at the bump forming on the back of his head, and then the bruise already fading on his chin and thought Ino really ought to have shown _some_ restraint, considering that Naruto'd just gotten out of the hospital. Weren't girls supposed to be nurturing or something?

But girls were a mystery to him at the moment. A vicious, hard-handed mystery with a mean right hook.

Then again, all things considered, he'd probably gotten off easy. Since it had been _Sasuke_ Ino had been defending, he was probably lucky to still have all his limbs. All of Naruto's problems seemed to originate from the Uchiha heir. And people wondered why Naruto wanted to kick his smirking face in most of the time. Stupid Sasuke.

Naruto climbed back onto his stool and perked immediately when he noticed that his ramen had remained intact, and hadn't cooled too much. He decided to forget about the Ino Incident for the time being, and resolved to find and talk to Sakura later (preferably when she was FAR AWAY from the blonde girl). He wasn't looking forward to trying to explain himself to Sakura, and thought Sasuke really ought to be there, too, to explain _himself…_

But that would be a post-ramen problem. Right now, he would finish his noodles…

"Kurama, Hiei kissed you."

…and be amused that Yuusuke was still attempting to deal with his disbelief.

"Hiei _kissed_ you. Hiei! _Hiei_ kissed you!" This was, perhaps, the twenty-seventh rendition of the exact same conclusion. Naruto hadn't really been keeping strict track.

Kurama had managed to make light of, blow off, or flat out ignore about twenty-six previous rounds, but apparently he'd reached his limit.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" he snapped peevishly, crossing his arms and glaring at Yuusuke in a way Naruto felt sure was meant to make the dark-haired boy feel about as big as a gnat, and half as smart as one. "I didn't quite catch it. Perhaps it you say it a few dozen more times alternating between various pitches and tonality, and throw in some funny accents, I'll understand you better."

"Yeah…" Yuusuke still had a dazed look, and it was obvious Kurama's words had bounced right off the shell of shock surrounding him. "But-_Hiei!_"

Kurama stood up. "I think it's time we get back to the hospital, don't you?"

He moved as if to reach into his pocket of his pants-a pocket that didn't exist in the hospital clothes he was wearing-and froze. "Ah…" His annoyance faded, replaced by something less sure. "Does anyone know how we're going to _pay _for this?"

* * *

It was amazing how much you could learn about a person if you were observant and watched them wash dishes. Naruto wasn't all that observant, but he still noticed that Yuusuke tended to scrub plates with large, hastily enthusiastic motions that sometimes missed food bits. Kuwabara bitched at him while drying, making him redo a few-or _trying_ to make him redo some-and between them, more water was on the floor than in the sink by the end. Kurama stacked the dried plates neatly. He had a knack for knowing where everything went.

Naruto grumbled under his breath as he swept, but didn't protest _too_ loudly, considering how sheepish he still felt about forgetting to bring money. The owner of Ichiraku watched them as he counted down the register, expression gruff. The waitress restocked supplies and tried to hide an amused smile.

When they were finished, they trooped back to the hospital and slipped inside. Security was loose-the village only on low alert, not quite recovered from the unexpected visitors and their interesting allies, but not caught by surprise any more, either.

Yuusuke and Kuwabara went one way, Kurama and Naruto the other, back to their rooms. The daffodil mumbled something that sounded snide as they came in, but it was mostly asleep and Naruto wasn't really paying attention. The day was catching up. The food in his stomach made him warm and comfortable.

He dismissed his clones and slipped into bed, listening to the trees gossip quietly until he fell asleep.

* * *

The Genin grapevine was the fastest method of communication in the village. As soon as Ino knew he was awake, _everyone_ knew. So in the late morning, about halfway through the second series tests and paperwork, people began trickling in, and Naruto was subjected to a round of hugs and back-poundings, well-wishes and lectures to _never be that stupid again_ from the various people who stopped by. Around lunchtime, Yuusuke showed up and took Kurama away.

Naruto barely noticed, too busy soaking up the attention. He did some requisite posturing, insisting his wounds hadn't been _nearly_ as bad as the rumor mill supposed.

To which Chouji replied that Kiba now owed him lunch.

Naruto insisted they take him with them, since it was his mortality they'd been betting on. After a tussle that got them a firm scolding from the hospital staff, Kiba agreed, and they were off.

Along the way, they picked up Shikamaru, who was waiting for them in the lobby, and Lee, who was just leaving from his annual check-up (spinal-chord injuries always had the possibility of going awry, even after they'd been healed, Tsunade-baba had said).

They met Neji on a bridge. He was facing the water, Tenten beside him, leaning with her back against the rails. At Naruto's offer to join them (since Kiba was paying, he didn't care how many came, and he actually rather enjoyed the idea of grabbing as many people as possible), the girl rolled her eyes and said she'd rather throw knives at things than watch a bunch of boys gorge themselves. Neji, however, pushed away from the railing and fell into step beside Lee.

Despite a long and very loud argument, they ended up at the barbeque place Chouji loved since he had technically won the bet. (Naruto'd argued that _he'd_ won the bet. After all-he'd been the one to survive, but no one was really listening at that point.)

The waitress showed them to Chouji's "regular table" and on the way, Naruto nearly careened into Sakura, who was coming out of the bathroom.

"Sakura-chan!" he said as he untangled himself from her. "Do you want to come eat with us? Kiba's paying!"

"OI! You idiot!" Kiba said from somewhere near the head of the group. "Stop inviting people, already!"

"No." Sakura eyes darted to one side. She had one arm across her body, hand on her opposite elbow, hugging her arm closer to her side. "Um. I was just leaving."

Her body language and the way she avoided eye contact confused him for a moment. "Huh? But, Sakura-chan…" And then he remembered-the kiss, the crushed daffodil, stupid _Sasuke_, and awkwardness tripped up his tongue. "No, ah, I mean…but, that was…"

By the time he'd thought to tell Sakura to blame Sasuke for all of it, the girl had already pushed past him, and was making her way toward the exit.

"Sakura? Hey!" Ino appeared, coming from the same direction as Sakura had, and gave the boys a brief glance before pushing past them. "Where are you going? I thought we were eating here-"

Then they were gone, and Naruto was left feeling a bit like he'd been clipped in the head and stomach by Chouji's Meat Tank attack.

"What the hell's wrong with them?" Kiba asked.

Naruto couldn't tell them, wouldn't tell them, and they were boys. So, though Neji looked thoughtful, Kiba scowled, Lee frowned after Sakura, Chouji eyed the girls curiously and Shikamaru gave Naruto a sharp look that almost immediately faded back into his usual droll expression, they eventually concluded that girls would be girls, and went to have lunch.

* * *

Yuusuke's life was a complicated thing, something he tended to ignore most of the time. He had friends that ignored it, too, so that helped. Since being transported to some alternate universe where there were ninjas and big ass trees, and demons sealed in young boys (okay, that last bit wasn't too unusual), his life had become a lot _more_ complicated. Up until this point, he thought he'd been handling it well.

"You want us to _hide?_"

The old guy in the weird hat was sitting at the front of the room behind a long table. Beside him was teacher-guy with the scar cutting across the bridge of his nose. In discrete corners were the old guy's guards.

Yuusuke felt like he was back in the principal's office-the principal's office of a military academy. Not something that helped him absorb the situation with a calm and rational mind. It helped a little to be flanked by Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei standing in their places just behind him. Immediate back up eased a bit of the tension.

"I'm just asking you to be discrete," old guy said, hands folded on the table, expression neutral, but something in his eyes told Yuusuke that he was amused.

"We suck at 'discrete'," Kuwabara muttered.

Teacher-guy winced a little.

"It's just until I think of a proper cover story for your being here and within close proximity to myself and Naruto," the old guy said, his eyes still twinkling, though his voice remained patient. "Until we can explain your presence here, it's probably best for as few people to see you as possible."

Yuusuke let that reasonable reply sit out in the open for a moment until it started to look around nervously for cover, before answering. "Yeah, okay. Fine. But where are we supposed to stay? It's not like we can _pay _for any housing, or anything. Plus, you're going to want us near the kid-Orange Pants."

"Naruto," teacher-guy corrected automatically.

"Sure, whatever. You're going to want us near him."

"Why?" the old guy asked, raises an eyebrow slightly.

"Because no one is really sure what's going on or how this thing works-but we're probably the most qualified to handle whatever trouble might come up, and we can't _do_ that if we're holed up in some little room somewhere under house arrest."

The old guy let that hang in the air for a moment, before the amusement returned to his eyes. "I have just the solution."

Naruto actually had some difficulty giving the others the slip, but he didn't really want company as he walked home, taking the longer but more familiar route, the one that went past Sakura's house. He wasn't ready to actively seek her out, but if she just happened to be around…

But she wasn't. He was both relieved and disappointed, and the barbequed pork sat uneasily in his stomach. Slouching a bit more than usual, hands in his pockets, he trudged home, up his steps, unlocked the door to his apartment, pushed it open-

And froze.

"Oh-" Kurama said, his hair pulled back by a kerchief (_where_ had he gotten that?), his hand poised with a dusting rag. "You're home! Welcome back!"

In the background, Kuwabara carried an armload of clothes into Naruto's room. "Sorry," he said, "we had to do a little rearranging."

"You're messier than I am!" Yuusuke sounded rather too triumphant about that as he wandered by, holding a broom propped on his shoulder like a spear.

"That's nothing to brag about." Hiei didn't appear to be helping, unless his role was to glare everyone into productiveness.

"What the HELL are you guys DOING?"

They all stopped to stare at Naruto with varying degrees of incredulity, then exchanged looks with varying degrees of hesitance. Finally, Kurama-who'd apparently been elected as spokesman in that brief silence and round of significant glances-spoke up.

"You mean…they didn't tell you?"

Naruto's brain took very little notice of all the heavily weighted eye-contact, still stalling in the annoyance of Not Knowing What Was Going On. "Tell me WHAT?"

"We're…er… We've been assigned to stay with you. For a while." Kurama smiled sweetly.

"You WHAT?"

Naruto had only moved into this apartment a month ago. It was a bit larger than his old one, and had a laundry room downstairs so he didn't have to troop three blocks to the nearest laundry mat. Though he was still technically a Gennin, his missions were mostly A and B class these days, and the pay reflected that, so he'd been able to afford a better place.

This meant, however, that the residents of this particular building weren't familiar with Naruto and his tremendous capacity for making noise. Heads were beginning to poke out of doorways, curious and/or somewhat hostile eyes considering the scene.

Since he was the closest, Kurama reached out, grabbed Naruto by the front of his jacket, and jerked him into the room, shutting the door behind him.

Naruto found himself immediately passed to Yuusuke, who was doing a surprisingly good job of sounding perfectly reasonable as he set the broom aside and lead the blond further into the apartment. "Look, don't worry about it, okay? The old guy set it up. We thought you knew, so we took some liberties. Sorry about that. But everything's been arranged. We get allowances for food. We've made up the beds already…"

They had shoved his couch up against the far wall. It had been in the middle of his living room. It was a large, ponderous piece of furniture, stuffing showing through in places, upholstered with a loosely woven, coarse fabric that had probably once been a pleasant sand-color and was now the color of piss on dirty snow. Naruto had rescued it from someone else's trash years ago, and viewed it as a sort of faithful pet that would always be there waiting for him when he got home. That it was now consigned to a corner made him bristle slightly.

The couch had been moved to make room for the large futon that was rolled neatly on the floor. There were two, smaller futons flanking Naruto's bed in his own room. What had been a pile of dirty clothes strewn over his floor were not a pile of clean clothes set on his bed, sorted by color, underwear in a separate pile. His apartment wasn't very big and there weren't many places to sleep, but the blond still had the urge to demand they take themselves out of his personal space.

"It'll be great!" Yuusuke concluded with a wide gesture.

The little tour of Naruto's rearranged apartment ended in the kitchen-which was spotless like it hadn't been since he'd moved in and spent enough time here to accumulated dirty plates in the sink. Yuusuke maneuvered him over to the table. Kuwabara was at the stove, pouring out a pot of hot water into a familiar Styrofoam bowl.

As he sat down, Kurama snapped apart a pair of chopsticks and handed them to him. Kuwabara set the ramen down in front of him. Yuusuke braced himself on the back of Naruto's chair and sort of…_leaned_. Hiei was standing against a near wall, arms folded, still glaring.

Naruto had the brief, slightly dazed thought of, _Now _that_ was teamwork_. And he might have even been impressed if they hadn't been teaming up against _him_.

On the one hand-ramen, and a clean house, and people to make the apartment less empty from time to time. On the other hand…four people living with him in his already-small space, all of them kinda weird and rather powerful. Plus, they all seemed determined to involve themselves in his business.

On the third hand…ramen…and they were powerful…

"Okay," Naruto decided, digging his chopsticks into his noodles. "But!" he added, before they could relax completely. "Two things. One, who's sleeping in the double?"

Yuusuke jerked a thumb back toward Hiei and nodded to Kurama. "The honeymooners."

That earned him scalding glares from both quarters, which he ignored.

"No sex in the house," Naruto said.

Kurama made a strangled sound, and looked scandalized. "We're not…that's…"

"That's fine," Hiei said over Yuusuke's snickering.

"What's two?" Kuwabara asked, in an effort to bring the conversation back on track.

"I want training." Naruto stuck ramen into his mouth, slurping happily in the silence following that statement.

"Training?" Yuusuke said.

"What do you mean 'training'?" Kuwabara asked.

Naruto shrugged. He hadn't really thought it out that far. "You guys have got to have some skills that you can teach me, right? Kurama can talk to plants."

Kurama started slightly and then looked embarrassed when the others glanced at him.

"And that guy," he pointed at Hiei with his chopsticks, "can teleport and set up 'barriers'-what ever that means. And you work for a god, right? Gods just don't choose losers without power to work for them."

"The 'loser' part is debatable." Kuwabara eyed Yuusuke, who rose to the bait.

"You shut it."

"Our powers are specific to ourselves, Naruto," Kurama said. "Though you've borrowed some of mine for the moment…"

Naruto noticed the curious glances Kurama's other teammates gave him again, and guessed they hadn't been aware of that until he'd said something.

"…it's not something we can train you to do."

"That's fine." Naruto, put down his chopsticks, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave Kurama a steady look. "But you didn't just wake up one day and used your powers perfectly, did you? You had to develop them. I have my own skills. I'm always looking for new ways to train them. That's all I'm asking."

"Okay," Yuusuke said, which seemed to settle the issue. "That's doable. But not today."

"But!"

"You just got out of the hospital!" That was Kuwabara, who, as the tallest of the group (and presumably the oldest, but Naruto was just guessing), could give Naruto the best intimidating look-down, arms folded, frowning. "Give it a rest for a couple of days."

"But!"

"Kuwabara and me are going shopping," Yuusuke declared. Kurama winced and looked as if he might protest, but Yuusuke cut him off. "Hiei is upping the security around the apartment. Kurama's in charge of helping you make up with your girl."

At Naruto's fish-on-land imitation, Yuusuke grinned. "What, you think we didn't notice?"

"Yuusuke." Now Kurama looked outright annoyed. "It's hardly appropriate to offer such a thing. It's not any of our business-"

"Kurama's elegant and stuff." Yuusuke had grabbed Kuwabara and was pulling him out the door. "And he cares about manners. Girls like that. He's good with that shit. He'll help you. Bye!"

"Yuusuke-wait!" But the door slammed on Kurama's words and they were gone.

Hiei spared a moment to smirk at Kurama, who returned with a rather ungracious scowl, and then Hiei glitched into a black streak and was gone.

"I'm going to kill them," Kurama said, belying Yuusuke's assurances that Kurama was 'elegant' or anything but downright murderous, at the moment. "Kill them all. Slowly. With rusty forks."

"Um…?" Naruto said.

"Eat your ramen," Kurama said, still glaring at the closed door.

Naruto did as he was told.

* * *

"Hey." Yuusuke was self-appointed leader, and had been ever since the god of the afterlife (junior) had pieced together this ragtag collection of personalities and declared it a "team." Yuusuke only pulled rank occasionally, though, when things got truly out of hand, or when he was feeling particularly obnoxious.

This meant he didn't have to do things like carry all the bags or choose the correct head of lettuce-two things Kuwabara was doing stoically and with a studious intensity that Yuusuke might have mocked if he hadn't been distracted.

Being leader meant you sometimes had to address the tough issues, too. That was part of the job Yuusuke didn't like. But he didn't often shirk it, either. "Hey. Are you all right?"

Though Kuwabara had been complacent enough with being the only one doing any shopping even though they were both wandering through the market didn't mean he didn't resent Yuusuke for it heavily. The glare he shot in Yuusuke's direction said as much. "What?"

"Are you…all right? With Kurama and Hiei."

"They're not dating, Urameshi." Kuwabara went back to carefully squeezing tomatoes in dismissal. "Kurama needed a kiss to wake him up. Hiei wasn't about to let some stranger do it."

"Would _you_ have done it?"

"Sure."

"What?" Yuusuke nearly put his hand through the cantaloupe he'd been prodding absently.

"You have to smell those to know if they're ripe. You can't just poke it."

"But-wait. Say that last thing again?"

"About the cantaloupe?"

"No! About kissing Kurama!"

Kuwabara chose three tomatoes and then paused, debating over a fourth. "It's not a big deal, Urameshi. Get a grip."

Yuusuke stared at Kuwabara for a long moment, disbelief scrabbling at the walls of his mind, trying to find a voice. When Kuwabara finally turned and smirked at him, Yuusuke knocked out the feeling with a well-timed blow and cleared his throat, looking blindly at grapes.

"So…you're all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Urameshi, when I say 'I'm fine' like that, I'm not speaking metaphorically."

"I don't know what 'metaphorically' means, but let's take a moment to remember some things."

"Let's not."

"Remember that time in the tournament when Toguro stuck his hand through your chest and everyone thought you were dead?"

"He only stuck his hand partway through my chest and _you_ were the only one who thought I was dead, and then you nearly killed me afterward when you found out I was alive."

"You were faking and everyone knew it but me! You deserved to have your ass kicked."

Kuwabara let that one go. "So? What about it?"

"Remember afterward, when you said you were 'fine'? Even though you'd lost, like, quarts of blood and had broken ribs-"

"And a concussion because you kicked me in the head."

"-and; there was a big gaping _hole_ in your chest! So excuse me if I don't believe you every time you say that."

A small old woman was staring at them, hand hovering over a bunch of asparagus. Yuusuke realized he'd been talking rather loudly. Kuwabara glared at him, and Yuusuke glared back, and then Kuwabara put his tomatoes into the basket and Yuusuke picked up a cantaloupe and sniffed it experimentally.

"It's good," Yuusuke said, handing it over.

Kuwabara dropped it in with the rest of their groceries without protest.

"It's not so much the boy-kissing-boy thing," he said as he moved on to onions, scrutinizing them though Yuusuke couldn't begin to imagine the difference between one bag and the next. "It's the _Hiei_-kissing-_Kurama_ thing. I just…I can't see Hiei kissing anyone. Except now I can see him kissing Kurama. Over and over. In my head." He picked a bag. "And that sort of makes me wish someone would beat me until I pass out."

"And this is what you call 'fine'."

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"I'm fine."

Kuwabara looked unconvinced. "That lost-quarts-of-blood-with-a-gaping-hole-in-my-chest fine?"

"…maybe. But, hey. You recovered from that. I'll recover from this."

"Sounds like a plan." The onions went into the basket.

"So can we stop talking about feelings and stuff?"

"Yeah. Back to the manly?"

"Definitely. Cars."

"Beer."

"Cooking outdoors."

"Grunting and spitting."

"Titties-like 'em big."

"I'm going to tell Keiko you said that."

Yuusuke glared. "Do it and die."

They finished their shopping without further discussion, beyond a brief tiff over whether or not to buy peaches ("They're _hairy_! It's gross!" Yuusuke said, and Kuwabara called him an idiot and told him to shut up or help carry the bags. Yuusuke shut up.), and were in the process of paying when Botan appeared. She was sitting on her oar but in casual clothes-jeans and a hooded yellow-and-blue sweatshirt.

"Guys! What are you doing?"

The scolding tone in her voice caught Yuusuke a bit off guard.

"Uh…paying for groceries…?"

"Why aren't you guarding Naruto?"

"Guarding…?" Alarm was a fissure down Yuusuke's spine. "Why would he need to be guarded…?"

The fissure turned into a pulse-a ki signature, unfamiliar, hostile. Demon. There was a sound like a gigantic piece of paper ripping, and then a roar from the throat of something inhuman. It rattled the glass in the windows.

Botan shielded her eyes from the blast of hot wind that kicked through the streets, then shouted over the noise. "Because of things like that!"

* * *

Wow, I'm evil. Another cliff-hanger. Just FYI, I'm re-uploading some of my chapters to do a little housecleaning (removing typos, adjusting author's notes, etc.). I don't know if that effects those of you on author alert. If so, please ignore.

Some notes:

Hiei can't teleport (to my knowledge, although it sure looks like teleportation sometimes). He just moves _really really_ fast and can jump really high and whatnot. But Naruto doesn't know that.

Kuwabara is not the oldest. He's the same age as Yuusuke, and they're the youngest in the group. Kuwabara looks older because I say he ages somewhat normally since he's human, whereas everyone else is a demon.

I'm writing my own YYH information page, but it's going slowly since html-ing tires me out. So! Until then, those of you who are curious can check out this page:

http: agaru. fateback. com /

Remembering, of course, to take all those pesky spaces out of there. It has good information, and good pictures. You have to forgive the boys for what they're wearing sometimes, though. Remember, this series was written in the '80s and their styles occasionally reflect that painfully.

Okay! On to the part that...oh, you know the drill, by now.

Replies to comments: (And everyone else gets love too!)

Yanslana - you get cookies because I just really enjoyed your review. Kyuubi as Youko's father? Wow. There's a concept. "KURAMA..._ I_ AM YOUR FATHER..." "NOOO! IT CAN'T BE TRUUUE!":plunge: Yuusuke: "What the hell just happened?" Kuwabara: "Did Kurama just fling himself off a cliff?" Hiei: "Stupid melodramatic foxes..." As a writer I'm thankful to have readers like you. :insert smiley face here-because ffdotnet always erases them:

Night-Owl123 - you get cookies too because, my goodness, I think you've reviewed every single chapter. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as much as you have so far.

kcgal - you get cookies (I'm all about cookies, this time) because you were the only one who mentioned the daffodil. I'm glad you liked it!


	8. Working on the Details

**Author's Notes:** Wow, it's been a while. I would take time to beg forgiveness, but I'm trying to keep this brief. The Naruto Universe has changed a whole lot since I started this. My grasp of the characters has become stronger (I hope), though some of their relationships/personalities have changed, some. I like Sakura a lot more, now. Anyway, I'm doing my best to incorporate the new while keep as true as possible to my original plot. Okay, I'll shut up. On with the story!

Part 7: Working on the Details

By the time they got down the street and back to Naruto's apartment, there was a dead demon lying amid wooden-walls-and-shingles debris. The creature was big, ugly and a bit…gelatinous. It was that last part that had Yuusuke fascinated as he inched forward for a closer look, whistling low with appreciation.

Kuwabara shoved grocery bags into Yuusuke's arms and picked his way deeper into the wreckage, shoving aside wooden planks without much care for glass shards and the remnants of metal pipes. It took until the other man reached in and grabbed Kurama, hauling him out of the wreck, for Yuusuke to figure out what he was doing. Naruto kicked a piece of door aside and stood up, rubbing his head and looking around a bit dazedly.

The glare Kurama threw in Yuusuke's direction had a touch of dry humor in it. "Yes, we're alive, thank you for asking."

Yuusuke spared a minute for sheepish guilt, and then shrugged, looking over at Hiei as the demon jumped down from whatever tall thing he'd been standing on and landed next to Yuusuke.

"Nice work." Yuusuke nodded at the dead demon.

"Not me."

"Huh?"

Four people dropped in loose formation around them, and Hiei bristled. For a moment, Yuusuke could only see a wash of white and black, deliberately faceless in masks, and almost went on the offensive. Then he remembered--ninja guards. Right.

"Wow guys," he said in a friendly "how-do-you-do" way. "Nice response time."

"What are you doing here?" the nearest one asked sharply. Woman, Yuusuke noted by the voice. He could also see the vague outline of her breasts under the white chest plate of her uniform. Not that he was looking hard, or anything.

Her tone made him straighten defensively. "Hey, we have permission to--"

"You are to be confined to Uzumaki's home."

"Dudes, chill. We were just shopping down the street--"

"You are confined to Uzumaki's home unless given express permission to leave, and if you violate this condition again, you'll be charged and fined. After three violations, we will escort you out of the village and ask that you don't return."

"My APARTMENT!"

Naruto had, apparently, finally taken stock of the situation. Everyone paused briefly to look at him, and Kuwabara reached out to pat his shoulder, then went back to helping Kurama and a growing group of others pick out people from the wreck of the building. So far, no one seemed particularly hurt, which Yuusuke counted as a good thing. The demon had only taken out the front of the building complex, leaving it open like a picture diagram of the inside of ninja apartments, before collapsing in a pile of goo. Gross, but not damaging.

Yuusuke gave the ninja-guards a hard grin. "Yeah, well, the kid's place is a rubble pile, so now what are you gonna do?"

Even though it was difficult to see the woman guard's eyes, despite the eyeholes in her mask, he could still feel her glare. Despite that, she didn't seem to have any answers for him.

"That thing," she said, finally, pointing to the sticky mess that the rest of her team was approaching cautiously. "What is it?"

"Demon," Hiei said, and her head twitched in his direction.

"Impossible." She said, addressing it to Yuusuke, and the accusation in her voice was plain.

"What--" Yuusuke bristled. "How is it _my_ fault?"

"Isn't it always?" Kuwabara asked.

"We can't rule out that the demon's appearance is somehow related to our coming here. It's difficult to believe it could be entirely coincidental."

Yuusuke rolled his eyes at Kurama. "Someone wanna translate that?"

"We're pretty sure it's your fault, we just don't know why," Kuwabara summed up.

"If it _is_ your fault..." the ninja-guard began, her voice taking on a harder edge.

Which Yuusuke reacted to with his usual diplomacy. "Yeah? You'll what? Go ahead and finish that sentence."

It was difficult to be threatening when holding bags of groceries and looking basically domestic, but Yuusuke thought he managed it well.

"Whoa--stop!" Botan was a flutter of blue hair between them. Both sides paused, and in that hesitation the ferrygirl interjected, "Instead of fighting, why don't we take Naruto-kun to the hospital, and await further instructions."

"I'm not hurt!" Naruto protested.

Kuwabara poked him in the arm, where a wide red streak of blood darkened the orange material of Naruto's jacket. "Tell me another one."

"It's nothing. It'll heal--"

"Let's go anyway," Botan said with a fierce sort of cheer. She held her arms out and Kuwabara lifted Naruto up to her before anyone else could protest.

The medical staff didn't seem all too alarmed or surprised to see them, nor in any hurry to attend Naruto, who was grumbling and bracketed in by Botan and Kuwabara. Most of the staff knew the blond by name, which earned him curious glances from his companions until he shrugged and said, "I volunteer here a lot."

"Naruto!" It was the pink-haired girl with her hair pulled back, looking serious as she hurried toward them. "I heard your apartment collapsed, are you all right?"

"Yeah." Naruto shifted his feel and attempted a grin. "I'm fine. You know me! They made me come." He jerked his thumb at Botan, who smiled her most pleasant smile. "I wouldn't have bothered otherwise."

Cat-green eyes flickered over them, and then the girl gave a small, formal bow. "I don't think we've been officially introduced. I'm Haruno Sakura."

"Botan!" This was accompanied with a bounce and straight-up enthusiastic arm wave, the kind that you gave to someone at a distance who might not see you otherwise. It was completely unnecessary, considering the close quarters of the hallway, but completely Botan.

"Kuwabara Kazuma." The tall boy gave Sakura a firm handshake.

Yuusuke saluted lazily. "Urameshi Yuusuke."

Kurama returned her bow. "Kurama."

"And there's another guy floating around," Yuusuke added. "Hiei."

"You'll know him by his shortness and his attitude," Kuwabara said.

"Oh, yeah!" Naruto exclaimed. "He reminds me of Sasuke!"

Which pretty much killed the conversation dead, awkwardness instant and painful between Naruto and Sakura, the Thing They Weren't Talking To Each Other About suddenly laid bare. Naruto looked at the floor. Sakura folded her arms and hunched her shoulders a little.

Kuwabara winced, then nudged Yuusuke. "Wow, I'm thirsty. I think I'll go find something to drink. What about you?"

"No, I'm good."

Kuwabara elbowed Yuusuke again, harder, and added a glare for good measure.

"Er, but--yeah! I could use something. Kurama?"

The redhead nodded and followed the other two.

"This is probably the nicest hospital I've ever been in," Botan said with a perky head-tilt. "And I've been to a lot. The positive energies--"

"BOTAN!"

Her sentence startled to an abrupt stop, and she caught the sight of Yuusuke glaring at her from around the corner. "Oh! Ah, well, I'll just go...um, help get drinks! Do you want something?" She looked between the two teenagers in front of her, and felt a tug on the back of her sweatshirt. Kurama had come back, taken a handful of cloth and was pulling her gently away. "Okay, I'll get you something!"

They rounded the corner and left Sakura and Naruto alone. Well, alone except for the hospital staff and the other people in the corridor, most of whom were carefully Not Listening In.

"Sakura-chan..." Naruto had had a speech prepared for this moment. A good speech! Full of righteous anger and Sasuke-bashing. But, in the face of Sakura's uncertain expression and closed-off body language, the words seemed inadequate. "It really wasn't my fault, this time. Really!"

Sakura frowned at a framed photograph of Konoha on the wall and said nothing.

Naruto's shoulders slumped. "Do you want to hit me?"

She seemed to seriously consider this for a moment, and then turned toward him, arms dropping. "Don't tempt me."

Her tone was prickly but not that cold anger that had made Naruto's heart clench. Relief was tentative but stubborn. "Okay. Because Ino already beat the crap out of me in Sasuke's defense and twice in one day would kinda be overkill."

"Did she?" Sakura looked thoughtful. "I didn't ask her to do that."

"D'you think that actually matters?"

"No." Sakura's lips quirked. "I should take her some flowers as a thank you."

"She _has_ flowers. A whole shop full!"

"I'll bake her a cake, then."

"Bake? Sakura-chan, you generally don't poison people to show gratitude."

Naruto had never been so happy to have Sakura punch him in the head, even if it hurt a lot. They scuffled briefly, and then broke apart, grinning at each other. He felt more than saw people around them go back to whatever they'd been doing originally as the Sakura and Naruto Teenage Drama drew to its natural conclusion.

"Besides," Naruto said, "you _really_ ought to hit Sasuke." And then he winced, wishing he'd kept his mouth shut, glancing at Sakura furtively.

But Sakura only shrugged. "He doesn't stand there and take it like you do. He's smarter than you, remember?"

Naruto let the insult slide as he felt his grin jump back into place. "Then _I'll_ do it for you!"

She quirked a pale pink eyebrow. "Think you can?"

"I promise!" He pumped his fist and flexed a bit for her.

She rolled her eyes. "So what happened to your apartment?"

And, suddenly, everyone was listening again. Naruto froze, darting a glance around. He realized that only made him look _more_ suspicious, but he couldn't help it. The word "demon" was heavy on his tongue, just a repeat of what he'd overheard in snatches of conversation when he'd not been overwhelmed by the destruction of his home, but it wasn't a word to be used in Konoha lightly.

"Um...not sure," he said, lamely.

Sakura studied him for a moment, then said, "Okay. Your friends..." She nodded in the direction Yuusuke and the others had gone.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we should let them wander around here on their own?"

That was a good question.

* * *

Kuwabara popped his can of coffee open and took a sip. "How long do you think we need to leave them alone?"

Yuusuke was eyeing his own drink. "You know what would make this better?"

Kuwabara eyed him. "What?"

"If it were beer."

Kuwabara sighed.

"More importantly," Kurama said from near the window, "Botan--"

The ferrygirl, who'd been making spirited efforts to poke a straw through a squeeze-y drink, looked up. "Eh?"

"Explain the demon, if you please." And though he worded it politely, his tone of voice made it clear that it was not an open ended request.

"Which one?"

Kuwabara eyed her. "Which _one_...?"

"The one that broke the kid's _house_, Botan."

"Oh!" She stabbed her drink again, and the straw slid over the slick surface. "That one!"

"Yeah," Yuusuke said, glaring. "That one."

Kuwabara held out his hand and Botan put her drink in it obediently.

"Well, you know how some demons eat souls?" Botan said, and took her drink back from Kuwabara with a beamed thank you. "And the bigger the soul energy, the more tempting it is?"

Yuusuke cocked his head. "Yeah?"

"Naruto's soul is very powerful, and since he hasn't passed the Test of Reincarnation, yet, it's sort of up for grabs." She sipped from her straw. "It's attracting any nearby demon."

"I am _not_ attracted to the kid," Yuusuke said, folding his arms.

"That's not what she meant, idiot," Kuwabara muttered.

"I felt it."

That quiet statement earned Kurama a horrified look, Yuusuke's eyes widening. "Ew! He's like...young!"

"He's not that much younger than we are." Kuwabara threw Yuusuke a quelling frown when it looked as if the other boy might say something insulting.

"And age is all relative when you're a demon," Kurama said with a shrug.

"No," Yuusuke said firmly.

"I'm not going to jump him," Kurama answered with an expression he reserved for times he realized he was surrounded by people barely out of their teens. "It's not about sex. It's a draw of pure energy, and it's very strong."

"So, demons are going to keep showing up, huh." Kuwabara looked to Botan and the ferrygirl nodded.

"Which is _why _you need to stick _close _to him." The ferrygirl eyed the groceries, which had been set on the floor, with an accusatory eye. "Until Naruto passes the Test, and his soul is resealed, completely in the world of the living."

"There's a TEST?" Naruto walked quiet as a cat on the hard tiles of the hospital floor, but his voice was still loud enough to bounce violently off plaster walls.

Yuusuke, with his back to the snack alcove's entrance, and the only one who didn't see the bright yellow hair pop into view, spun with a startled curse, almost squeezing the life out of his drink. Sakura's hand nearly slammed Naruto's head into a wall as she slapped her hand over his mouth. Then she scowled at her friend, before turning sternly on the rest of them.

"There's a test?" she asked more calmly.

Botan tilted her head, "Yes. Didn't anyone mention that?" She handed Sakura a fruit juice and then tapped her chin. "Well, I suppose you weren't there for it. The Angel _did_ mention..."

Naruto had struggled free of Sakura's hand. "But I _suck_ at--oh, hey, thanks." He took the offered chocolate milk and busied himself opening it, always pleased with free food or drink.

Sakura looked less pleased about the interruption, though she was polite about it. "Naruto sucks at tests."

"I usually have to take them at least twice to get them right." He caught Sakura's incredulous stare, and coughed a bit. "Or...more..."

"There are no second chances when it comes to a Test of Life," Botan said, face serious.

Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"But," Yuusuke said, "sometimes even when you screw it up completely, it turns out all right. It did with me." He grinned.

"That's Yuusuke's entire life philosophy, though, and for some reason it always works for him," Kuwabara said. "So you probably shouldn't count on it."

"But we'll do our best to help you," Kurama added.

"So, what _is_ the test?" Sakura asked.

There was a swirl and twist of space next to Botan's free hand, and suddenly, she was holding a long oar. "Koenma's still figuring that out. I should probably check on how he's doing. It's complicated, since Naruto's soul has been reborn once already, guards a demon, and Koenma used Kurama's blood as a temporary seal."

Yuusuke blinked. "Wait--?"

Kuwabara frowned. "What--?"

Naruto gaped. "Huh?"

Sakura eyed Kurama, who looked carefully at a corner of the ceiling and pretended to be deaf.

Botan had already hopped on her oar. "You boys be good. If any more demons show up, try to draw them out of the village to keep down on property damage okay? I'll be back!"

Kurama opened the window for her and then stepped back. With a wave and a flash of blue hair, she was gone, and he was left alone to the silent press of questions.

Except Yuusuke was there, so it wasn't silent for long. "Koenma did what with your _what_?"

"That sounds dirty," Kuwabara snickered, then caught a look from Kurama and closed his mouth, looking contrite. "Sorry. Reflex."

"I remember that," Naruto said, glancing at the redhead, openly curious.

Which provoked a sarcastic, "You _remembered_ something?" from Sakura.

"Hey, it was pretty important!" the blond protested, and when that failed to move her, admitted, "It happens...occasionally."

"My body," Kurama said, forestalling any further degeneration into squabbling, "is accustomed to binding and controlling demon energy."

"What?" Yuusuke gave his teammate a blank look. "Why?" He recoiled from and then bristled against the heavy looks that got him. "_What?_ It's not like Kurama's...oh." Yuusuke blinked, and then attempted to cover his sudden revelation with a smooth, "Riiight."

Kuwabara rolled his eyes.

But the shinobi were both staring at them, watching the Significant Glances and words bounce around like rubber shuriken, looking more confused than ever.

"WHAT?" Naruto exploded, finally. "Tell _us_ already!"

Kurama shook his head. "I don't think this is the place to discuss details."

At the same time Yuusuke blurted, "Kurama's soul's demonic."

In the silence that followed that statement, Kurama closed his eyes as if praying for strength. In the hallway beyond the alcove, people continued to trickle by, a couple having an intense discussion about their future living arrangements, their apartment having been destroyed by the monster that had come for Naruto. No one had died in the attack, but there had been several injuries, and a lot of property damage. The word "demon" was carefully absent from all conversations, but buzzed around the hostility that lingered in the space left behind.

Naruto eyes had a hunted expression, darting to one side. Sakura shifted back slightly, guarding his back. "No," she agreed. "Not the best place to talk about it. And I have to get back to work, so not the best time, either." And then cat-green eyes gave them all a hard glare. "But we _will_ talk about it."

"Yes," Kurama agreed, meeting her look.

Kuwabara reached over and smacked Yuusuke upside the head.

"OW!"

Quiet effectively broken, Naruto shook himself out of his stillness. "But where else are we going to talk about it? My apartment is out. I don't even have a place to _sleep_."

"I think I can help with that."

Kurama jerked and almost shut the window in Kakashi's face on reflex. The masked shinobi perched on the sill and smiled with his visible eye, lifting a hand in a pleasant greeting. "Yo."

"Yo, yourself, Spiderman," Yuusuke said, folding his arms, and shifting his stance. Something in him itched to challenge the silver-haired nin. Something about not being able to judge his strength properly. "What's shakin'?"

That earned Yuusuke a politely blank silence, which wasn't broken until Naruto burst out with a, "You've found someplace for me to stay? Is it with you?"

"No," Kakashi said, with a swift, vaguely horrified firmness that couldn't quite be covered with his calm expression. "If you'll follow me, I'll show you."

* * *

"OH. **HELL.** NO."

They were standing, a little helter-skelter group of people who absolutely didn't look as if they belonged together, in front of the gates to what looked like a tiny village inside the Hidden Village, and Naruto had refused to go in any further.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, with the air of a man who knew _exactly what was wrong_ and was having a great deal of fun screwing up someone else's life. "The Sandaime himself arranged the whole thing. What's remains of your possessions have already been moved in."

Naruto spun to glare at the other ninja. Outranked or not, out-_classed_ or not, it didn't look as if he was going to back down any time soon. Though, for the moment, it appeared sheer horror had frozen his voice. His jaw worked, and his aura twisted dust around his feet, but he couldn't quite seem to find the words to express his utter refusal.

Kurama studied the simple red-and-white fan that marked the gate with some trepidation. Not only because of the argument to his left, but also because Kuwabara, on his right, looked a bit pale and about as unwilling as Naruto to cross the threshold. When the psychic on your team started to look skittish, it was probably time to duck and cover.

"Looks like a Poké Ball," Yuusuke announced, staring at the fan as well. He had the groceries propped on his hip and his head tilted in the other direction.

"It's the Uchiha Family crest," Kakashi informed them in his best tour guide voice. "They specialize in fire jutsu and it symbolizes fanning the flames."

"Something horrible happened here," Kuwabara murmured. "This is not a good place."

"It still looks like a Poké Ball."

"There is no way in HELL I'm playing house with SASUKE!"

Kakashi shrugged. "Then you'll just have to tell him that."

"I WILL!" With that, Naruto was gone, sprinting past the Reikai Tantei with enough speed to ruffle clothing in the wind he created.

Kuwabara gave Kakashi a sour look. "You did that on purpose."

The masked shinobi smiled in that secretive way only people with most of their faces hidden could do.

"Come on, troops!" Yuusuke snapped with a grin. "Let's go meet the Pokémon Master and get this over with already."

Kurama glanced at Kuwabara, who was still eyeing the path and houses beyond the gate with suspicion and dread. "Well, Botan _did_ say we had to guard Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah," Kuwabara sighed and followed Yuusuke, suppressing a shiver as he crossed the threshold. Behind them, Kakashi waved and vanished in a puff of smoke. "I have the feeling I'm going to hate all of you by the end of this."

"Is that your expert opinion as a psychic?" Kurama asked, a smile curving in his tone even if his expression was perfectly serious.

"It's my expert opinion of knowing Yuusuke too long."

"I can hear you from here, you know," Yuusuke said, over his shoulder.

Kurama and Kuwabara shared a smirk.

"Can't get anything past you, can we?" Kuwabara drawled.

"Damn straight. Hey, wait." Indignant realization colored Yuusuke's tone. "Why the hell am _I_ still carrying the groceries?"


End file.
